Giant 50 Foot Jesus Attacks Ohio Town

Ok, technically giant Jesus hasn’t attacked the small Ohio town yet, but….

I’ve seen Honey, I Blew Up the Kid.

I know how this thing turns out.

What starts off as cute and cuddly quickly turns into a raging torrent of destruction.

“Hug Me Jesus” isn’t so cute when he gives you a hug and crushes all the bones in your body with his giant arms.

Ok, technically that sort of thing didn’t happen in Honey, I Blew Up The Kids either, but it would have if Disney had given Rick Moranis the one thing he’s clearly been after his entire career: a hard “R” rating.

You hear that Quentin Tarantino?

If you wanna keep your hardcore edge, you know what you’ve gotta do.

Dump Christopher Weitz.

Get you some Rick Moranis.