10 Christian Books That Shouldn’t Exist

10 Christian Books That Shouldn’t Exist September 6, 2016

Sometimes I fall through an internet wormhole a discover a whole new world I either didn’t know existed or was in denial of.

This is a case of the latter.

I know there are plenty of bad Christian books out there, but I try not to think about just how bad they can be because I want to think the best of my fellow Christian writers.

But Google makes it hard to do that.

Really hard.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m no Mark Twain, but these books should not exist.

For example, this can be answered in just 4 words: No, no He doesn’t.


Speaking of no, there aren’t enough nopes in the world for why this book shouldn’t exist.


Fun fact about being cool and awesome: if you’re trying to be cool and awesome by reading a book about being cool and awesome, you’re already doing it wrong.


Seriously. Who thinks of things like this??

mars Never forget kids, rock and roll is the devil’s music.


This book alone set feminism in the Church back 50 years.


No words for this. Except, if true, I’m definitely going to hell.


Um, what now?! Also, where is that hand coming from and what is it doing??

Zero. That’s the number of souls saved because of this book.


Finally, I just couldn’t help myself. 🙂



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  • Phil

    You actually could have been more cynical in your list. Pointing out bad
    Christian books is pretty much like shooting fish in a barrel. I can think of a lot of other, more respectable books that could be included, including anything by John Mac Arthur. Thanks, though for #10!

  • PastorM

    I have problems with these books, save for Calvin’s, even being labeled “Christian.”

  • Judging by these books, I’d be more inclined to assume God speaks through cats.

  • Bart Massey

    To be fair, Philip José Farmer was a top-ranked SF writer who is known for such shenanigans.

    Good to see a post from you again! How are things going?

  • Please, of course God speaks through cats. Cats and God are synonymous.

  • Please, of course God speaks through cats. Cats and God are synonymous.

  • Faith Kelley

    There must be something in the Christian publishing water because this came across my feed today. Please consider adding it to the list. http://awfullibrarybooks.net/where-would-jesus-sleep/

  • Helping the Retarded to know God was published in 1969. One supposes there also “aren’t enough nopes in the world” for The Negro by W.E.B. Dubois. I know, this is just a lighthearted post. Did you have a look at any of the contemporary “reviews” for Helping the Retarded while you were in your “internet wormhole,” by the way? No doubt your post will draw a little attention to them, as it did mine, and they are quite horrible. Not your intention, of course, but your little anachronistic joke leads quite nicely to them anyway.

    And you’re dead wrong about cats too.

  • Pingback: 10 Christian Books That Shouldn’t Exist – Holy Always()

  • … I kind of want to read “Jesus on Mars” based on the cover. Was it ever made into a movie? Did MSTK3 ever pick it up?