The Semi-Official Blog of Zack Hunt
Last year, by what I can only assume was an act of divine intervention (since getting out to the movie theaters is a near impossibility for me), I turned on Netflix and discovered the modern day classic, God’s Not Dead was available to stream.
My soul rejoiced at the opportunity to see those evil atheists cinematically and definitively put in their place from the comfort of my own couch.
Sure, it was a film based on a Facebook meme that itself was a work of paranoid fiction, but it was a film I needed to see and a message I needed to share with my fellow Christians out there looking to have their preconceived ideas about higher education finally confirmed.
So, I did what any good Christian should do and I live tweeted the movie thinking this would be my only chance to share the truth of God’s not deadness with the world.
Thankfully, I was wrong.
God’s still not dead and there’s another movie to prove it!
Today, the world will be graced with the opportunity to dip their toes once again into the soothing waters of God’s truthiness and I for one can’t wait to see it.
Why?
Because God’s Not Dead 2 has everything I want in a movie.
Hollywood wants you to believe that good movies require good acting. They’ve even created a bunch of award shows to prop up their liberal lie and try to convince you that acting talent is somehow relevant to the quality of a film. It’s not. If it was, then how could Kirk Cameron continue to make so many excellent films??
Despite the mountain of godless pro-good acting oppression, God’s Not Dead 2 takes a bold stand for the truth: real movies, real Christian movies should never have anything but Christian actors and a handful of D, no higher than C-list actors and they’re only there to pacify the liberal overlords in Hollywood so they’ll allow movie theaters to show God’s truth on their screens.
Christian comedian + Sabrina the Teenage Witch = TAKE MY MONEY NOW!!!
I also love the dialogue in movies like God’s Not Dead 2. If a movie doesn’t mention Jesus at least 7 times every 7 minutes, I don’t want to want see it. I know that makes liberal Hollywood uncomfortable, but if the dialogue in a movie isn’t incredibly painful to listen to, then it’s not worth watching. Jesus called on his follower to take up their cross and I can’t think of a more excruciating experience than watching this movie.
Likewise, I need to be constantly told during a movie that Jesus died for my sins. None of this subtlety garbage. Subtlety is for godless sinners. I need the gospel spelled out explicitly and methodically, as if Ben Stein was reading the iTunes terms & conditions for me because like most people, I don’t possess the cognitive ability to comprehend a movie’s message unless it’s awkwardly and constantly spelled out for me.
But most of all, what I really love about God’s Not Dead 2 is how it confirms my deepest fears about the war on Christianity in America. Sure, actual Christian persecution is taking place in the Middle East right now and, sure, the only religious folks in this country experiencing malicious persecution are Muslims, but it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter that the story in God’s Not Dead 2 is completely bogus pandering because it’s pandering to me and what I believe is really true no matter what the truth really is and that’s all that really matters.
We need more bold spiritual warriors like the producers of God’s Not Dead 2 who are willing to stand up for the truth even if the truth is wholly of their own making and doesn’t, in fact, reflect any actual threat on the Christian faith. This is America, after all, and in America, if I believe it, that makes it true!! And if I believe hard enough, God willing there will always be someone standing ready to bravely exploit my sincerely held beliefs in order to make a few extra bucks, especially when that exploitation takes exactly zero creativity and is just a retread of another equally uncreative endeavor.
God bless America and God bless the Newsboys for having the courage to cash in on conservative Christianity’s paranoid fears by simply reusing the same song they did the first time we learned that God’s not dead.
It really is a great time to be a Christian, is it not?
I have to imagine the Renaissance artists are looking down from heaven right now wishing they had been able to create such incredible art in service of the gospel. If only they had a little more talent and imagination when they were alive….
And the timing of the film itself?
The release date couldn’t be any more appropriate.
I mean, God’s Not Dead 2 is an elaborate April Fool’s Day joke, right?
Right??
This post sure is.
There’s no way this waste of celluloid is for real, right?
Right??
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