The grass was still wet from the morning dew even though the sun had been shining for several hours. Freshly turned dirt lay plastered to her right cheek as the tears moistened the soil into mud. She knew that she must’ve looked like a mess, but didn’t much care.
Her cotton paisley printed dress didn’t do much to keep out the wind that was softly blowing around her and she shivered a bit as she grabbed the bottle that lay deep within her pockets. She had counted them out before she left her home, making certain not to be short any. Without sitting up, she counted them out again. Fourteen in all, she confirmed. Her hand shook as she closed the lid and waited for just the right moment.
Movement startled her until her eyes focused through her water-filled eyes on the creature that landed near her nose. The dragonfly contemplated her for a second, as if to say that she didn’t belong, and gently flew away. Its royal blue color matched Abby’s eyes and instead of feeling comforted by the divine creature, she again broke into sobs hugging the grey marble stone that portrayed her daughter’s name; Abby Grace, age five.
Life goes on, everyone kept telling her, but how could it? Time only deepened her wounds. There was nobody left now that Abby lay buried in the beautiful white casket, holding her stuffed hippo she’d called Hickory. She would only have pictures and memories which she so feared would only fade and haunt her night and day. Life didn’t have to go on; it was a choice. A choice she continually contemplated.
“To let a sad thought or a bad one get into your mind is as dangerous as letting a scarlet fever germ get into your body. If you let it stay there after it has got in, you may never get over it as long as you live.”
Frances Hodgson Burnett
As swiftly as the dragonfly had departed, it landed once again, perched in front of her. The moment rang serene as she looked at the sunlight, shimmering through its transparent wings and the coloring of its body, even more brilliant than seconds before. For the past few weeks she had been asking for some sort of a sign, receiving nothing, but now she wondered if perhaps there had been signs all around her and she had ignored them all out of grief. Could this be a sign, she wondered. Had Abby sent this glorious bug as a sign that she was ok and watching over her? Even if it was merely coincidence, just the thought made her feel content. She felt a little silly, now, a little wrong; this sudden peace, a betrayal against her anger for God. She smiled at the dragonfly and extended her hand out to it. Without hesitation, it crawled upon her index finger and softly fluttered its wings and flew into the tree that hovered over the burial ground.
She slowly rose, sitting she took the bottle out of her pocket and opened it. Emptying the contents into her hand, one by one she laid the colored M & Ms upon the tombstone; Abby’s favorite candy. She had promised her that they’d get them the day of the accident. She only wanted to keep her promise.
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.”
Mary Anne Radmacher
We all have our own trials and tribulations. Some of us keep our pain held deep within our soul, hidden; a mask over the trueness that smiles all is fine. Others roar, showing their discontent with life to all within the range. And yet others may just numb their soul altogether and walk around in the muck of life. How do you handle your sadness? Do you get mad, angry, point fingers, or simply smile through it? Are you patching or fixing? Or are you even trying anymore?
I was just getting ready for bed when my phone rang and my Spirit Guide, Alto, told me to pick it up. It was after 10:00 p.m. and it had been a long and trying day, the last thing I wanted to do was talk to anyone. I honestly just wanted to cuddle up in bed, put the blankets to my chin and drift away into a magical land where nobody yelled at anybody, where nobody was upset with anybody and where I could create my own magic. I didn’t recognize the phone number, but I did as told. On the other line was a teenage girl of about sixteen years old. She told me that her name was Paige*. She explained to me that her mother had seen me a few years back when she was going through the divorce with her father. Paige further explained that her mom had been suicidal and I had sought out assistance for her. I held my breath, expecting bad news, because after all, wouldn’t that just put a great big exclamation point on to the day? Instead, she simply said thank you.
Those two words set my waterworks off. We spoke for about fifteen minutes as she told me how her life was miserable for years and she felt she was taking care of her parents instead of being able to be a kid. When her mom came home from getting assistance, Paige said that she consciously made the decision to see magick in every moment. Almost sixteen years old and she consciously made this decision. So, before we ended our conversation, we played a bit of a game. I asked her what her magickal moments that day were. She told me that a cute boy had smiled at her, that she got a B on an exam she was sure she failed and that her car started on the first try. She asked me what my magickal moments were, and wouldn’t you know that all the bad that had piled up that day disappeared. I told her that Guinness, my Australian Shepherd who has cancer, was still alive and sleeping next to me, my kids gave me a hug, my husband did the dishes and my daffodils were in bloom. Some people may not see this as magick, but to me it is everyday magick, and we are surrounded by it every single day, but instead many sign up for the belief that life is going to stink, that all the bad that will continue to pile up, and although the magick isn’t lost, it just doesn’t sparkle as bright, that is until you consciously choose to allow to get rid of the past garbage and look around at all the good that is there.
Just as my story Dragonfly pointed out, although bad things happen, you can find the signs and the magick through the pain.
By finding your everyday magick, I believe you too will be able to accomplish great things, meet great people and have a great life.