Why the ‘I’m Every Woman’ Mindset is Hurting Marriages, Motherhood, and Me

GUEST POST By Katie M. Reid

The lyrics from Whitney Houston’s popular song, “I’m Every Woman” have inspired many. I love to sing along as Whitney belts out this declaration on behalf of womankind.

Women are indeed strong and capable—able to meet needs, please others, overcome obstacles, raise children, run businesses, and look good doing it. However, on the road to prove ourselves, I am afraid we’ve adopted an unhealthy mindset along the way.

When I act like I must be all things to all people, I overextend myself as a human being, and set myself up for failure and others for disappointment.

When I continually take on more than is reasonable, I exchange my strength for stress, and my peace of mind for a frazzled state of living.

I have many talents and interests but that doesn’t mean I have the capacity to be Joanna Gaines, Rachael Ray, Vera Wang, and Jessica Alba rolled into one. It is unrealistic to think I can remodel a home, cook meals from scratch, sew runway ready clothes for my kids, and launch a product line all at the same time.

Yes, these women are talented and successful, but I believe it’s because they have chosen a few things to focus on and they call in enforcements when necessary.

It’s great to have ambition, it’s admirable to work hard, but I don’t think joy and peace are waiting on the other side of the “look how much I can do at once” mentality.

We each have different energy levels and bandwidth but many of us are trying to do too much and then wondering why we’re stressed out. When we overcommit, we set ourselves up for burnout. When we set healthy boundaries we provide a sustainable model in which our families can thrive.

It’s fun to try new things. It’s important to model to our kids the great things that women can do, but there is also freedom in not trying to be a master of all. There is security in knowing that we don’t have to do it all to be enough. We are already enough because by faith in Christ, we have been declared worthy through His finished work on the cross.

Jesus is the only One who can be and do all things. We are not the Savior and that is a good thing indeed.

When we acknowledge both our capabilities and limitations, we operate with realistic expectations of ourselves and others. When we stop trying to be every woman all rolled up into one, we can hone in on a few things and do those really well.

Here are a few questions to consider as you evaluate your current commitments and calendar:

1. Is my schedule realistic in light of my bandwidth and responsibilities?
2. Is there something on my plate that I can take off or delegate to someone else?
3. What are some of my favorite things to do and why? Are some of those things a part of my calendar this month?
4. Is there something a friend could do for me (who has an interest or expertise in this area)?
5. Am I trying to prove my worth through my work or am I resting in the work Jesus did on the Christ because of His love great love for me?

Dear God:

Thank You for making me a woman. Thank You for entrusting me with gifts and talents to use for Your glory, the betterment of others, and my enjoyment. Help me to understand that I don’t have to do it all to be enough. Please show me areas where I have overextended myself in an effort to prove my worth. Help me to walk in confidence knowing that You have created me for special assignments yet freed me from having to do it all. Thank You for the glorious gift of Your grace. Help me to receive grace and extend it to myself and those around me.

Amen.

About the Author: Bio: Katie M. Reid is an author and speaker who encourages others to find grace in the unraveling of life at KatieMReid.com. She delights in her handsome hubby, her five loud children, and their country life in the middle of Michigan. Each week Katie and her husband, Adam, broadcast hope for couples on their popular Facebook Live show, “Stop! Hammock Time.” Tune in on Wednesday, at 9pm EST on Katie’s Facebook Page.
Katie’s first book, Made Like Martha: Good News for the Woman Who Gets Things Done comes out with Waterbook July of 2018. She has also been published through Focus on the Family, Huffington Post, (in)courage, For Every Mom, Crosswalk, MOPS, and many other sites. Katie speaks at conferences, events, and camps. Cut-to-the-chase conversation over hot or cold tea is one of her favorite things.
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