Coaching

Reflecting back, I mark the realization that I am part of a much greater whole as a pivotal point in my life. The experience created a course correction resulting in an exploration of intersection of psychology and spirituality that has spanned decades. It is no surprise that Ken Wilber’s Integral Theory became my framework with the capstone being the Unique Self dharma as articulated by Marc Gafni. This clear articulation of the human journey through the necessary individuation we call the separate self to the realization that we are part of the “seamless coat of the universe” to the recognition that we are each a unique expression of the Ultimate Reality is the synthesis of my two passions. More importantly it is what I experientially know to be true.

The Unique Self is not a concept but a quality of presence that is embodied as we awaken to our interconnectedness and grow beyond our sense of separation. I believe it is the purpose for existence because it is from here that we can most fully offer our gifts to the world.

Researchers have given us irrefutable evidence that humans continue to grow throughout our lifetime. Spiritual teachers ancient and modern echo that truth. As our world becomes increasingly complex, it is imperative that we grow into deeper and wider stages of development in order to navigate and assist our world’s evolution.

My own desire to assist in the transformation of the world has resulted in the Unique Self Coaching Process, co-developed with my colleague Claire Molinard. Because the process facilitates getting to the heart of whom you are and how the creative impulse of Ultimate Reality wants to express through you, it has many applications. Whether you are seeking spiritual connection and development, wanting to understand why your life is no longer fulfilling or exploring your life’s purpose, this process will help.

Individual coaching work focuses on developing the competencies one needs in order to grow. My training and experience in coaching, psychotherapy, integral theory, energy work, spiritual direction, spiritual intelligence and practice allow me to customize the Unique Self Coaching process to meet your needs. Change in our complex world may be the only constant but that doesn’t make it easy. We want to change yet we get in our own way, something like stepping on the gas and putting on the brakes at the same time. Our inclination is to learn a new skill in order to solve a problem. But that often results in the same “you,” one who certainly knows more, but has not really changed.

What’s called for is the emergence of your Unique Self, however moving into that new territory is scary. It involves giving up familiar territory, for ways of being that are unfamiliar.Scary, yes, but also full of possibility because what drives us to look for help in the first place is the fact that our familiar way of being is no longer sufficient for one or another area of life. Generally that’s because somewhere deep inside; we’re ready for real change.

So how does it work?

It begins with getting to know aspects of yourself that are often invisible. We call this your “unique perspective,” or your unique way of thinking and acting. Not only is it invisible but it also unknowingly protects you from making the changes you desire. While that familiar way of being has many positive qualities, at some point it becomes limiting. But it’s all we’ve got, so we keep using the familiar pattern, seeing and acting through that “unique perspective.” Often this results in “trying the same thing, expecting different results” when it comes to change.

Using several Exploration tools, my first step is to help you recognize your Unique Perspective. We start there because you can’t change what you can’t see. You’ll come to appreciate both your strengths and limitations. Once you see your unique perspective or operating system, we’ll chart a path toward a deeper and wider way of being, one that involves learning new competencies through specific practices, reflection, feedback and support as your Unique Self emerges. This will increase your capacity to address whatever change you desire as you come to live from a place of greater fullness and freedom. It is from this new place that you can be of greater service to the world.

The Unique Self Coaching Process begins with a free initial session. This gives both you and me a sense of each other in order to ascertain whether coaching is what you need at this time. Please email me at barbara@barbaraalexander.net to set up an initial session and/or ask any questions.

 

 


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