So there I was, washing dishes, getting chicken grease off of industrial sized pans, when a friend mentioned that her father was writing a book.
Me: Yeah, what’s it called?
Her: Calvinism and the Doctrine of Grace.
Me: You’re one of those lucky, pre-destined few?
Her: Yeah, I’m one of the elect.
Me. Cool. Well I guess that’s cooler than being an Evangelical.
Her: I am an evangelical!
Me. Ah. I meant Baptist, it’s better than being a Baptist.
Her: I am a Baptist! I’m a Reformed Baptist.
Me: Ohhhh, well by Baptist I meant, uh — Wait, what was the reform? Becoming more Calvinist?
Her: I guess.
Me: Seems counter-productive. So you’re a Protestant Calvinist Reformed Baptist Evangelical.
Her: Yeah. There’s not very many of us.
Me: Has it occurred to you that it may because you have so many names?
Her: Well, there’s all kind of Catholics too. Roman Catholics for instance.
Me: Oh, those apostates. You realize that Roman Catholics and Catholics are the same thing?
Her: Oh. Do you realize that there aren’t Calvinist churches?
Me: There aren’t?
Her: No, Calvinism is a world view some Churches prescribe to, like Presbyterians and Reformed Baptists. It’s not the religion itself.
Me: (Not knowing that) Yeah I knew that. So, do you know why you’re wrong?
Her: (laughing) No, enlighten me.
Me: Well because your idea of pre-destination negates human beings use of free will, and makes God unjust.
Her: By human standards.
Me: Well, we’re made in the image and likeness of God.
Her: But we’re fallen.