The Inherent Awkardness Of Being Pro-Choice

There I was, being normal, testing the murky waters of a potential romance, when a particular girl told me she was a vegetarian.

Me: Bummer.
Her: Do you eat veal?
Me: Uh, well, no, because it’s not often offered to me-
Her: I never eat veal. Do you know what veal is?
Me: Baby cow-
Her: It’s baby cow!
Me: Yes. Yes it is.
Her (tearing up): Do know that they sometimes kill the baby cows within months of them being born, just so they’ll taste nice and tender?
Me (lying): Yeah, it’s terrible. I heard that sometimes, they even kill the baby cow while it’s still in the womb.
Her: No!
Me (still lying): No it’s true.
Her: That’s absolutely sick.
Me: Hey, are you pro-life?
Her: No, of course not. I believe in a woman’s right to choose.
Me: (waiting)
Her: I’m not a big fan of our species anyways.
Me: (waiting)
Her: I have so many pets! I have a parrot, and a cat, and -

I had to explain my own creative verbal manipulation to her, which completely took the joy out of it. And, needless to say, all romantic interest was dragged immediately into the deepest pit of hell, all praise be to Him Who Saves Mightily. But it’s a serious point: If those things that look like babies, act like babies, think like babies and react like babies are, in fact, not babies, then those cows aren’t cows, and she needs to stop whining. Actually, if fetuses truly are not what they – by every standard – appear to be, then why stop at abortion? We could make a sport out of them, for all they’re worth. We could use them in designer make-up. Oh wait.

Am I being vulgar? Yes, but inhuman vulgarity is the natural implication of pro-choice logic.  If that thing growing inside a woman is of the same stuff and worth as the cells inside your mouth, why treat the two differently? If that thing with the arms and the legs and the beating heart and feeling nerves is  ‘only-a-bundle-of-cells’, then why is it treated with such grave respect? Why is abortion a morally significant event? Is going bald, a similar expulsion of cells, morally significant?

You’ll never hear a straight answer, because the abortion movement is caught in an awkward position. A mother doesn’t need to be told that killing her child is morally significant. She knows that innately. She does need to be told that her child isn’t actually a child, in order to justify the act of abortion. So  the Big Business of Abortion has the terribly difficult task of simultaneously affirming that it’s a big deal to kill your child – in order to look in touch with the rest of humanity and less like old, wrinkly monsters doing TV interviews – and, in the same breath, affirm that it’s completely fine to kill your child. Essentially, the rallying cry of the modern abortion movement is: It’s morally significant to commit a morally insignificant act! Quake in fear, all ye pro-life.  

What complete crap. It’s the same lie that’s behind the “safe, legal and rare” rhetoric. Our politicians say they’re trying to reduce abortions. Why? If abortion is fine then provide them at Wal-Mart, next to the optometrists. If not, end it. But surely you realize how cowardly you look trying to appease the world, saying “abortion is a benefit to society, let’s enact laws to protect it, and let’s have much less of it.” You can’t have it both ways. Everyone is laughing at you.

Hate on the pro-life movement all you want, at least we know what we stand for. The pro-choice movement can only stutter awkwardly, like those creepy men you see hitting on pretty girls: “Maybe, uh, we could get coffee some time? Or shots, you know, whatever you’re into. It wouldn’t be a big deal, unless you want it to be a big deal, in which case I’m down. It’s really not a serious thing but, it is, if you know what I’m saying. I’m sorry, am I too close to your ear?”

It’s something of an odd mixture of disgust and relief, just to hear some honesty.

  • looloolooweez

    I think a part of the problem for the pro-choice camp is that it is made up of a lot of different people with a lot of different opinions about what abortion is, when it is appropriate, what exactly counts as "safe, legal, and rare" and how to reach that goal. For the pro-life camp, it's easy: a fetus is a baby, and abortion is murder of a baby, period. I guess pro-choice folks see the issue as being much more complicated than pro-lifers.

  • Anonymous

    One of the things that irks me about the crazy vegans (and yeah they aren't all crazy), is that all of these things are based in emotion. Abortion, veganism, environmental worship are all things that people "feel" strongly about.I'm pregnant again. We were SO excited to find out that another little tyke was growing it's way into our routine. Then I became sick. Not morning sick. All the time sick. I can't be in the same room as anyone else eating or cooking, I can't cook what I eat, I generally throw up about 2/3 of whatever I do get down. I HATE this pregnancy. If this child only got his value based on how I felt about him, he would be so out of luck. And yet that is what these pro-choice women want. To base their babies lives on how they feel about them. What jerks.

  • Anonymous

    So what do you have to say to the pro-life women who do get abortions? And still consider themselves pro-life? Or maybe you've never talked with women who have had abortions.and shame on you for lying on a date and not being forthcoming with your position on abortion. It reminds me of some of the blind dates I once went on where guys said they "don't smoke, only drink socially and are middle of the road in terms of politics." One minute after meeting them, I'd discover they actually chain smoke, enjoy whiskey all the time and think no taxes for the wealthy=prosperity for all.

  • Marc

    That there is healing and forgiveness for everyone. And yes, I have a few friends who've had abortions, though I'm happy to say a few more who have been sorely tempted towards abortion but have decided to keep the child.and lol on the date thing. it wasn't a date ( :

  • October Rose

    Chilling video. "It isn't a baby, a baby is just a fetus that has been born." Um … which means a fetus is just a baby that hasn't been born. Logic much?And anyway, fetus literally means "small child" or "offspring"–in other words, "baby."

  • Anonymous

    It is so funny when "pro-choicers" inform me, "you pro-lifers just don't get it! No woman just casually waltzes into a clinic and has an abortion. It is a very difficult choice." Um yeah, the pro-life movement has been constantly saying that for decades. Abortion is emotionally painful because it involves killing your very own offspring, your son or daughter. Why else would it be such a "tough decision"? As you wonderfully wrote, the pro-choice movement is awkward and full of contradictions. Oh, and genocidal.

  • Anonymous

    That video really makes me want to pray a rosary.

  • john paul 79

    the guy at the end shut up pretty fast when he realised he really put his foot in it did,nt he!….. "oh if they (the pro-lifers) were more about the rights for kid,s….(oh wait they are all about the rights for kids im pro-abortion should not be calling it a kid ..darn!!!)….."pshhh just dosent make any sense to me!….what an idiot.

  • ayearinskirts

    My mom is pro-choice to the point that she informed me when I was a kid that if she ever got pregnant again she'd have one. Fast forward many years and I can hear my mother chastising my 3 year old for stepping on bugs in the backyard. She was telling her "No!! Don't do that! It's murder!" Oh I got all over her case on that one.

  • Benjamin Baxter

    Actually, there is such a veal: I think it's called French veal or something like that — killed before birth, &c;.

  • Anonymous

    Great article. But tell me Marc, when are you gonna write an article on Rick Santorum. With the republican debates going on now, I think you should.

  • K10

    Kutti Pi is an Anglo-Indian dish and is an animal fetus. I saw it on a "Taboo" from national Geographic. Obviously is is "taboo".Anywho… I sincerely enjoyed your post. I have been thinking many of the same things you wrote for quite a while, and others I hadn't thought to think of.Loved It.

  • Liesl

    What an interesting video… I just commented on one girl's opinion from it…I do have to say that while the pro-choice movement seems to be all over the place with their ideals, we also, as the pro-life movement, all have to get on board with contraception as well. Unfortunately, this hasn't happened yet, and there are many staunchly pro-life people who support the use of contraception.

  • Chris G

    well don't have to make up grotesque things to make your point, you can just refer to real things like fetal soup in China – yes that was wide spread.

  • Anonymous

    "'It isn't a baby, a baby is just a fetus that has been born.' Um … which means a fetus is just a baby that hasn't been born. Logic much?"That's a logical fallacy, actually, but cute try. Being "logical" is perhaps more difficult than you think.

  • Laura

    Anon above me: what you said is exactly what the person you're quoting was pointing out…

  • Sophia’s Favorite

    Anonymous #2, it wasn't a lie, it was satire. You know, like Borat. Except without the betrayal of hospitality that would get Sasha Cohen killed, in most societies.And since you mention it, "no taxes for the wealthy=prosperity for all" can be maintained—leaving to one side that nobody, but nobody, advocates no taxes for the wealthy ("lower taxes for everybody" is the actual proposal). Indeed, every time we cut the tax rates (under Kennedy, Reagan, and Clinton, among other times), even tax revenues increase, precisely as predicted by the Laffer curve, because there is more total wealth to tax, even at the lower rate.Consider: this country's economic system is capitalist, that is, it is a system based around an investor class. Now, obviously, if that investor-class has lower taxes, they can do more of that investing. And since that investor class is also the employer-class, the more investing they do, the more jobs there are, and the more everyone gets paid. "Prosperity for all" seems like a fair summary to me.The only problem with capitalism is not "the rich"—that convenient boogieman, despised merely for their class, just like beggars in a bad melodrama—but the fact that everyone else is dependent upon them for their livelihood. But admit it: you have absolutely no idea of any alternative system to capitalism (for instance, "distributism", where everyone owns their own capital, individually, and is not an employee).

  • Anonymous

    Horrible video. This makes me sick – a PP clinic like Starbucks?? Seriously??Marc, I applaud you for not only writing about this, but also about promoting abstinence in your posts. I am of the train of thought that if you make abortion illegal then abortions will still happen IF we don't also promote abstinence, morality and values. RosieB

  • Nataliann

    Great video. I was glad to see it, because on that day in Chicago, I was there with a huge group of enthusiastic, Catholic teens that were upholding the joy of LIFE– but we couldn't get close enough to the "pro-choice" advocates to hear much of what they said. It is so sad. But here are some other videos from that day that are perhaps more heartening: giant yellow balloons read "Life" in black lettering, and we are led by possibly the most awesome religious, Br. Chad McCoy and his sidekick in the green jacket, Peter Aiura. Everywhere the "pro-choicers" went, we went, standing up for love, life, truth and joy!

  • Mr.Unknown

    When I was dating my wife, she stunned me in the local supermarket:My [soon to be] wife: "I'm pro choice"Me: Reaching for a bag of coffee, but stunned into paralysisMy [soon to be wife]: "I believe a woman can choose when to have sex."Me: lol

  • Anonymous

    I don't see any contradiction in the responses from the girl you spoke with. A cow cannot communicate in any human language and can therefore not consent to having an abortion, and somebody who strongly supports animal rights would naturally not approve of forcing something an animal may not want onto them. However, a pregnant human is perfectly capable of consenting to having (or not having) an abortion.Also, you must know some pro-choicers that are oddly poor speakers and writers.

    • Norm Betland

      Complete idiocy. The unborn human is unable to consent to being ripped apart and having its body parts vacuumed out one by one, yet its ok to do it even though it might not want that done to it? Furthermore, the two week old baby isn’t able to consent either. Is it ok though if the mother consents to ripping the baby apart and vacuuming up the aftermath. Dumbest crap I’ve ever heard.

      Nobody is really pro-choice. They are anti-life.

  • Anonymous

    I do not side with the pro-life movement. I feel that women should have the right to decide whether or not to abort a pregnancy, considering that it is the woman who usually carries the child to term.. nurtures it, cares for it, and sacrifices months/years of her life just to protect it. There are sometimes circumstances that make abortion understandable, such as rape. An accident could’ve happened and the condom could’ve broken.. oh no!

    It’s bad enough that women are the victims of rape and more often than not.. spousal abuse. (but that’s another topic.).. Telling a woman she cannot abort a pregnancy that SHE would have to carry is wrong. It is a direct violation of her human rights and her right to choose.

    I know what you piss-ass pro-lifers are going to say.. “What about the baby? Does it have a choice?”

    Well here’s a little wake-up call for you idiots. A child isn’t born until it exits the mother’s womb.. whether it is naturally or untimely ripped. If it’s still in her body, then it’s not born. It has no rights. It is a part of the mother and ultimately the mother can choose whether or not to allow it to carry through.

    “But my religion says it is immoral! Believe in oh ye’ god or perish!”

    Bullshit. Our own nations constitution says that we are to separate church from state. We need to start separating church from state.. Under god needs to be removed from the pledge.. as it is a direct violation of our founding nation’s documents. Religion should not be a part of the decisions we make, as Christianity and Islam are two of the bloodiest religions in the world. Want to deny it? Look at the crusades.. look at what the Early-European monarchs did to the bible just to justify their right to kill..

    But to word it simple, pro-lifers need to go back to school and realize that a baby isn’t born until it leaves the mother’s womb.. they need to leave these women alone, the religious speakers need to shut the fuck up and get real already, and the government needs to pull it’s head out of Obama’s ass and start realizing that we need to help this nation. They need to start truly representing the American Public and not just the ideas of themselves.

    • Bridget Ann

      I’m sorry, but THIS is idiotic. You prove Marc Barnes’ point.

      • Tagney Rhys

        Doesn’t it seem a little rude to call some one’s opinion idiotic? Sure, they were being rude by bashing religious peoples and there views, but what’s the point in prolonging the hate?

        Everyone has the right to their own thoughts and opinions. Whether you are pro-life and religious or, like myself, pro-choice and non religious, it doesn’t matter! Whatever happened to simply being kind to each other and respecting each other’s differences?

        Why does religion have to govern whom you think is a wrong or not. Think for yourself.

    • Holly Parker

      The point isn’t whether or not the baby is born… I don’t think many people believe that a fetus existing in the mother’s womb is “born”, and pro-lifers do not base their stance on protecting the rights of the “born”. You said, “If its still in her body, then its not born. It has no rights.” So, you’re saying the birth canal is a magic passageway to personhood? So only at the moment the human head passes through its mother’s body and into the outside world- only in those crucial seconds- does it assume an identity as a person and a citizen of the world with rights and dignity? This doesn’t sound very scientific to me… how could its location determine whether or not it is a person. I don’t think anyone can deny that a developing embryo or fetus is a life. Cells are constantly growing and dividing, as in any living organism. The cells of this organism have a very unique, HUMAN DNA, which is different and seperate from that of the mother. If the fetus was merely an extension of a woman’s body (and being an extension of a woman’s body is the reason why abortion is ok, and is why she has a choice over “her body”, right?). So we have a living organism, with human dna, and dna unique to that of the mother, correct? so is it so crazy to say that the fetus in the womb in a human life, and since that life is ended in abortion, a human life is taken away i.e. a human is killed? and who is to say that even though this fetus may not resemble in any way the cute babies we are used to seeing in their mother’s loving arms, that simply because they are human they are entitled to the same rights and the same love and protection? When we March for Life, we are marching to preserve the dignity of all human beings, and their right to life from conception to natural death. After all, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said: “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”

      • Anonymus

        I wouldn’t really consider a fetus to be a person until it would be fully developed which then would make it beyond the point of aborting.

        • Jmsteve4

          And who are you to say when it is fully developed? I’m not fully developed until 19. Even then, aren’t I still constantly changng?

    • Cgjernes

      This isn’t about religion(which your historical views on need reviewing), this is about logic, morality, and science.

      No, a child isn’t born before it leaves the womb, but that doesn’t mean that the child doesn’t exist.

    • Jmsteve4

      First off, are you saying birth = being alive? Cause I’m pretty sure the itty bitty beating heart and fully functinaing brain = alive. Or are you saying that birth = gettingrights? I was C-sectioned. Am I not a person? Fine, you say, whenever they come out of the womb they’re a person and get rights. Well what about stillborns? Do the have rights? Even though they’re dead? I mean, I don’t think the dead get to vote. But since they came out of their mother’s womb they must have rights, becaue that’s when rights exist. Death has nothing to do with it. As long as someone’s not in the mother, they have rights, even if they’re in a tomb right? Oh, so you mean death ends rights? So why doesn’t life automatcally give rights? Saying rights don’t begin until birth is like saying I’m not a person until I turn 18.

  • Anonymous

    To the anonymous post below mine:
    I feel really sorry for you and I’ll pray for you. I’ll pray that no one ever denies you the right to life.

    Also, you just proved Marc Barnes’ point.

  • EdinburghEye

    Wow, Marc. You know, if a girl you want to date rejects you, it’s fine to vent how you really didn’t want her and anyway she was STUPID and didn’t UNDERSTAND you, but save it for your best mate – and don’t forget you owe him the beer. Drunken bitter ramblings poured into the ear of your best friend are very unlikely to be held against you in years to come.

    Don’t write it down and post it on the Internet for all the world – including every single one of the girls who might potentially find you attractive, but who finds out you blog as “Bad Catholic”, looks you up, discovers this post, and decides that whenever you propose a date, she’ll be washing her hair.

    • Aldespertarelclarin

      Nice ad hominem mate.

      • EdinburghEye

        Friendly advice! Never put your angry rejection-inspired rants anywhere people might see them. Marc does not come across well on this – who wants to have your date explain to you that the point of his little “joke” is that he sees you as a cow?

        • anon

          someone’s butt hurt LOL.

    • Jmsteve4

      I would date him…

  • Tagney Rhys

    Article 19 – Universal Declaration of Human Rights:

    Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion
    and expression; this right includes freedom
    to hold opinions without interference an
    to seek, receive and impart information and
    ideas through any media and regardless of

  • LaurenB

    Aaahh I love your blog so much!! Everything you say just makes so much sense, and as a Catholic you’re really helping me clarify my beliefs. You’re awesome, keep doing what you do!

  • none

    I will pray for all of you. Even though I’m not religious. Because this battle is never going to end. We’re just going to continue to go in circles on this issue. Both sides will continue to fight. Both sides will die. Babies will be killed by their pro-choice mothers. Pro-choice doctors and nurses will be (and have been) hurt and killed by the pro life movement. Women will die while performing at-home abortions. An eye for an eye. Believe what you want to believe. But remember what Jesus said: “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 7.12 ESV). Just try to understand the other side. *Try.* Please. Understanding is all we have. And to treat others as we would want to be treated, just for a moment, would change humanity forever.

  • lindsay

    To me, It doesn’t matter if you are 2 days pregnant and the “thing” inside of you is a spec of dust, you are depriving it of a future, of what could be. this is why i’m pro-life whatever that thing inside of you could have been, will never be.