Likely Places

Blogs are stupid, mostly because of this:But also because of the word blog. It just sounds immature. The worst subtitle for a blog, ever, ever, ever would be as follows: Random Musings on Finding God in Unlikely Places. I will mock the crap out of that blog if I ever find it.Anyways, my point is - though like most of my points, it comes a little late - that many Christians have a habit of expressing the desire to find God in unlikely places, and I think it is a little silly. So silly, in fact, … [Read more...]

Go Hard.

In which I justify this guy's existence.There is an underlying theme in the word of God and an underlying principle in our religion that might be considered shocking: in all things go hard. Or, in an attempt to give Catholic hard-liners something to toast with; omnia valere. (Or, in an attempt to relate to teenagers of 1999-2004: Go Big or Go Home.) In matters of sin and virtue the greatest crime is not to be evil; it is to be lukewarm, neither good nor evil but full of evasion, … [Read more...]

Pictures of Naked Women!

Are not here, you dumbass.You get Hillaire Belloc instead, just for clicking on something you shouldn't. Actually, let's be honest, he is quite attractive...What is here is a post inspired by a guy who runs a blog, The Problem of Porn, about his experiences growing up in a family running a porno shop. I like reading what he says, because it's very honest, and it got me to thinking about the real problem of porn:The greatest crime of our pornographic culture is not … [Read more...]

I Love Atheists!

...which is why I'd like them to realize that they suck at atheism. Etymologically speaking, A holiday is a holy day, which leads me to understand why the godless are so grumpy – they’ve never had one. But, then again, for a breed so bent on denying that religion has brought any good fruit into the world, they see no contradiction in eating it, so perhaps they go on holidays and call them vacations. Those wild, crazy, Winter Solstice Vacations. But when they leave do they say “goodbye”, etymolo … [Read more...]

Culturally Catholic, Baby.

Culture baby, culture: The Oberammergau Passion PlayBeing the hardcore Catholic folk that you are, the phrase "culturally Catholic" might set you snarling. But grant me just a moment to attempt a turn-of-phrase. I maintain that those who - somewhat sullenly - call themselves "only culturally catholic" - as in "yeah-my-parents- make-me-go-to-church-but-I'm-still-hip-enough-to-think-gay-sex-is-awesome" - tend to have utterly no idea what Catholic culture is, much less a history of p … [Read more...]

How To Enjoy Beer

And God sayeth, "Don't make to much of it. It'sdelicious, but probably won't bring salvation. That'swine, remember?"The most painful paradox Christianity offers - and if carried out, the happiest - is that we must die to ourselves in order to fully live. Advent is a time to give this insanity a decent shot, in preparation for the coming of the God-man: Not to be miserable, but to be able to enjoy everything fully. Let me explain. Though often associated with long faces and skinny … [Read more...]

A Christmas Story

The wooden blocks lay stacked in the dark of the toy-maker's basement. It was a dreary place, full of dust and spiders and nibbling rats, but the blocks hardly noticed, being chock full of that sublime excitement only a wooden block can be full of. Every time the old man would begin a new toy he would fling open the door, golden light would pour into the basement and the blocks would get a breathtaking glimpse of the glorious things their brothers and sisters had become: Toy boats and airplanes, … [Read more...]

I Hate Blogs that Start With “Random Musings On….”

If we are the Church Militant, then the battleground is the back kitchens of fast-food joints. The following conversations I've had are 100% real - I promise - no embellishment- though it is tempting - and all designed to prove to you that apologetics are the most hilarious business we can partake in. Me: Today is a kinda, gosh-I-wish-we-served-whiskey-here sort of day.Billy: (Seriously) Um, that's a sin.Me: That's not what Jesus seemed to think. Wedding at Cana and all?Billy: Jesus made … [Read more...]

The Community Others Don’t Have

I'm writing from detention, and am reminded why bad kids are so much fun. First of all, they're nicer and kinder to each-other than "good" kids manage to be. A common bond of trouble is much stronger than the bond of the lack of trouble. Secondly, they're funnier than kids who seem to think that humor is constant sarcasm. Now that I think of it, detention is a lot like the Church. A bunch of people who have screwed up, or are in the delightful process of screwing up, sharing in community in … [Read more...]

Coffee When It Is Black

The whole problem with our culture can be summed up by the coffee we drink. The science, nay the art, of drinking black coffee revolves around enjoying that which is not enjoyable. The phrase "acquired taste" means just that - the acquisition of tastes we do not have: the taste for bitterness, the taste for harshness. Learning to love a dark cup of coffee means loving the unlovable, which is the definition of Christian charity. It does not mean ignoring the bitterness and choking the stuff down. … [Read more...]