Daylight savings time and a croupy toddler interrupted our weekend sleep, and a late start on a long drive meant that we did not get home last night until after midnight. I flung my pregnant self into bed, while my husband unloaded the car, went through the mail, and set himself up for Monday.
It is 9:30 am, and he just called me. He got up around 7 to shave and dress in a suit, left the house around 8 to get on the train, and is now walking up beautiful 8th Avenue in New York to his office. His breakfast was a large dunkin coffee on the train. I got up around 9. I am wearing comfy old jeans and a huge cashmere sweater, drinking coffee out of a large cozy mug which my daughter painted for me at a pottery class, eating pumpkin bread, and blogging while I listen to my kids, still in pajamas, sort through the lego bins.
Whose life, today, will require more unselfishness?
I am not trying to ignite a domestic accounting war, but I think it is worth noting that while I initially responded to AWOL’s post by thinking about how this affects us as stay at home mothers, the hard work of our generation has more to do with the obstacles of learning to be a grown up than with any specific vocation.
My brother is single, he lives in New York, he is a writer. He really wants to be a writer, but it is still hard work, and he has to hustle for every thing he publishes. He has to live in a smaller apartment and get along with roommates. Perhaps some of us, home or working, would dream of chucking it all to write a great novel — well, I can tell you from observing that this is not all it is cracked up to be. I am proud of my brother’s fortitude and perseverance, I am proud of his humility in living on less than many of his college friends, in order to work this out, but I can say for sure that it is not easy.
Very few adults live lives which are totally self indulgent, but because our TV culture glorifies those who do, we get confused. However, don’t we also notice how many celebrities use drugs and self-implode? How many are unable to maintain healthy relationships, even with drop dead gorgeous women? Even the “easy” life of the very rich and famous is unpleasant without common sense and good character to back it up.
How quickly, if I won the lottery, would I become bored or find things to complain about? How quickly would a million dollars begin to seem like “not enough money?”