Skyrim: For Christians! Finally!

It has been asked before, and answered by our own Alan Noble, whether or not Christians should play Skyrim. If there were any lingering doubts, all angst has been cleared up by the add-on Hearthfire. Fear not, my wounded-conscience Christian! At last you can live a wholesome life in the wild and pagan land of Skyrim. With this little gem of an update, you can buy a piece of property and build your own house by mining the clay, quarrying the stone, and buying the lumber yourself. Your new mansion will be outside of the city and away from all the villainous inhabitants.

But the fun does not end there—unless you are looking for the monastic life. No, if you dare to venture into town, you can even find a spouse for yourself. Your spouse will move into your home with you. The game actually rewards you for this good clean living: For every night you spend at home with your spouse, you receive bonuses for the next day’s activities! It’s called “The Lover’s Comfort” bonus. Indeed, your spouse will even bake you food and give you portions of the money he/she will make in the little business he/she sets up on the side.

If that’s not enough, you can even explore the cities to find orphaned children. When you spot one of these cute little urchins, you can invite them to become your very own children. The child will then move into the home that you have built, play games of tag with you, and even beg you for permission to keep stray animals as pets. When you stay at home with the family, you get an even bigger bonus for being a mom or dad! To add to your happy family, you can hire a house steward and even a full-time bard to sing songs for you all day long.

However, Skyrim is still a dangerous place, and while you can make a living for your little crew by mining ore or fishing, you still have to be prepared for bandit attacks on your compound. Your children and spouse will battle with you against raging hordes of bandits in order to keep the family farm safe.

So go ahead and give it a try. Live a wholesome life, at last, in Skyrim. Just beware of dragons…and the larger temptation of adventuring far from home.

About Brad Williams

Brad is the pastor of a Baptist church in a small town in Alabama. Brad has a lovely wife, two children, two dogs, a cat, a turtle, and five bee hives. Besides the incredible fact that he managed to persuade his wife to marry him, he is proud that he served six years in the Army National Guard, managed to graduate college with an English Lit. degree, graduate seminary, and finish the original Bard's Tale as a youngster by making maps on graph paper.

  • http://lovesubverts.com M. Joshua Cauller

    My Skyrim wife keeps yelling at me for staying out all day and night adventuring. She gets really naggy. It made me really not want to come home. I started staying out later and later. And she kept getting madder and madder. But since I’m playing as a Christian and I don’t believe in divorce, I had to change something. So I started bringing her gold, rubies, and sweet-rolls from all of my dungeon diving. Problem solved? Not entirely. But at least I can come home every now and again and have her not be mad at me.

    Unrelatedly, I really enjoy your commentary on the Podcast with Drew. You’re a smart dude. Good stuff.

  • http://@st_u2 StuartB

    Is that even a question that should be asked? “Should Christians play Skyrim?” Who is qualified to answer that beyond each individual person?

  • http://@st_u2 StuartB

    I get that this is tongue in cheek, but you brought up something bigger I’ve been thinking about…


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