Church Sign Epic Fails, “Strip for Me” Edition

I once joined a “Pole Dancing for God” class, but he totally kept telling me he was out of ones and would hit me up next time. Sooo not true.

That word you keep saying, I don’t think it means what you think it means.

I totally asked Jesus for sunny side up, and he makes me an omelet. Specialize! More like obsessed!

At least Jesus can still make him into an omelet.

We can only hope it’s more coherent than what the fox says.

And all this time I’ve been carrying this anvil around by myself. GAH!

Yes, we arranged a shut-down of the city streets just so you would be inconvenienced enough to come out of your way so we could tell you that God loves you. Don’t you feel better?

Now there’s a guy who, if he says “Strip for me,” you pretty much do it.

About Christian Piatt

Christian Piatt is the creator and editor of BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE BIBLE and BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT JESUS. He has a memoir on faith, family and parenting called PREGMANCY: A Dad, a Little Dude and a Due Date, and Hachette published his first hardcover book, "postChristian: What's left? Can we fix it? Do we care?" in 2014. His first novel, "Blood Doctrine," has been optioned by a Hollywood production company for a possible TV series.

Christian is the cofounder and cohost of the Homebrewed CultureCast, a podcast about popular culture, current events and spirituality that has a weekly audience of 25,000 people (

Preorder Christian's next book, "Not That Kind of Christian: Loving God without being an a**hole," at

For more information about Christian, visit, or find him on Twitter ( or Facebook.

  • Michael Mock

    …Christ specializes in omelets? Does that mean that if someone manages to recruit you from your old church into that one, you’re nothing but a poached egg?

    • JarredH

      I’ll give that a five on the groaner scale.

  • Brian Bowman

    Churches named “Oasis.” Every time I think “dive bar,” with Garth Brooks singing:

    I’m not big on social graces
    Think I’ll slip on down to The Oasis
    Oh, I’ve got friends in low places