A SIX FOOT TALL WHITE SCIENTOLOGIST

The Hollywood Reporter reports today that John Travolta is in negotiations to play Jimmy Stewart’s character in the update of the 1950 classic, Harvey.

The story revolves around an otherwise normal man who claims to have befriended a six-foot tall, white rabbit. His friends and family put him in a mental hospital. I don’t know…Will audiences buy a man being locked up, just for seeing invisible rabbits?

Hey! How about a movie in which an otherwise normal looking Hollywood star leaves the faith of his ancestors and becomes a vigorous apologist for a corrupt corporation (call it “Big Religion”?), that teaches that there are four fundamental principles called “is-ness, as-iness, alter-isness and not-isness”? Not weird enough for you?! Just wait…

And see, the star actually believes – this will blow audiences’ minds – that “Creation is accomplished by the postulation of an as-isness.”

Whaddya think? Weird enough? No wait! I didn’t get to tell you the part in which the star gets to alter his not-isness by proclaiming to the world that “Life is a game wherein theta as the static solves the problems of theta as a MEST.”

No, you’re right. Who would ever buy that as a movie premise?

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