1. Wonder Woman’s super suit coverage is acceptable beach attire for our mothers in our Christian mothers’ eyes (1 Tim 2:9; NB: no bellybutton, buttocks or bosoms hanging out). Bonus: ride-up threat neutralized.
2. Furthermore, all of Wonder Woman’s sensitive parts are shielded by a gold eagle. Like her, we have a righteousness-of-Christ breastplate that defends our tender parts against the accuser’s charges (Eph 6:14; Rom 8:33). Bonus: danger of wardrobe-malfunction nullified.
3. Wonder Woman is the daughter of the supreme Greek god Zeus in some versions of the comic. We are also daughters of a supreme god—the Most High God—created in his likeness, redeemed to his image (Gen 1:27; Col 3:10).
4. Wonder Woman is clearly secure in her body image and has a healthy relationship to food. She neither restricts, nor binges, nor over-exercises. When her superior powers are squelched, she keeps fit and centered by practicing martial arts. If she weren’t so busy catching criminals, she could actually bear children with that body. Just like the rest of us wonder women (Prov 31:27–28).
5. That being said, Wonder Woman has the intelligence to adopt stars for her suit, rather than the stripes of the American flag. Wide horizontal stripes make no fashion sense. Ever. Ever. Not even for Christians (there is no supporting verse for this assertion; it’s still true).
6. Wonder Woman’s culture, the Amazons, taught her that badly behaved people could be reformed and rehabilitated. There was hope for even the hardest of hearts. The only impact of retributive justice was destruction. We believe that, too. In Christ, anybody can become heart-slaves to righteousness instead of to sin (Rom 6:17; 7:25–8:4).
7. Wonder Woman’s jewelry is functional, not just decorative (1 Pet 3:3). Her indestructible bracelets repulse automatic weapons-fire and blasts of energy, kind of like our shield of faith. Believe it or not, our faith is less destructible than the aegis of Athena from which Wonder Woman’s bracelets were constructed. The strength of our faith derives not from its substance, but from its object, which is the Almighty himself. The more we know of God, the fewer lies, temptations and accusations reach our core (Eph 6:16; Rom 10:17).
8. Wonder Woman practices head-covering (1 Cor 11:10)! Granted, her tiara signifies authority because of the boomerang shuriken damage it does when she throws it, while our head coverings—literal or symbolic—stick it to Satan by submitting ourselves to authority, even when the one with the authority is a man and we are equal to that man by creation and redemption.
9. The Amazons, from whom Princess Diana of Themyscira (AKA Diana Prince, AKA Wonder Woman) springs, considered themselves an exclusive race of women. They dealt with patriarchalism by mating with and then killing men. Our Most High Creator “dealt” with patriarchalism by creating women equal to men. Genesis’s “suitable helper” language compares women to God himself (Gen 2:18; 49:25). And why else would the serpent target Eve for temptation? The Accuser had the same functional subordination “problem” she did. He was a superior (angelic) being, but his created purpose was to serve inferior human beings (Heb 1:14). Likewise Eve was Adam’s equal, but was functionally subordinate to her husband. Thankfully, unlike our Amazonian sisters, we don’t need to kill men to deal with this “problem.” Jesus already died for that (Eph 5:25).
10. Wonder Woman possesses the lariat of Hestia. It looks kind of stupid when Lynda Carter’s Wonder Woman throws it and really cool when Super Friends’ Wonder Woman throws it. But either way, it works like a lie-detector. Better yet, it not only spots the lies, but it compels the truth. Like Wonder Woman, we have a belt of truth, our best defense against the deceptions of the dark one and of everyone else, including ourselves (Eph 6:14; John 8:44; Jas 1:23–24).
11. William Moulton Marston (AKA Charles Moulton) created Wonder Woman because, in his work as a psychologist, he concluded that only through willing submission of the self can individuals build a peaceful society. To be sure, he thought that this meant self-bondage, which people would only choose if they enjoyed bondage, which would only be enjoyed if it was practiced through eroticism. Like Marston, we fierce free Christian girls believe that love leads to healthy mutual submission. Unlike Marston, we understand that such humility is only possible for believers—men and women alike—because Jesus learned humility first. Our submission to each other is powered by his submission to the Father (Heb 5:8–9).