Warning: Those Allergic to Humor Should Not Look at This

Thanks to Joshua M. Skains.

Disclaimer:  No squirrels were harmed in the making of this joke, and it was not intended to malign or disrespect or encourage the mistreatment of any squirrel, living or dead.  Squirrels are people, too.  (Or something like that.)

Please don’t be offended.

Thanks to Donald E. Neighbors.

Disclaimer:  I don’t hate dogs.  Really, I don’t.  I’m actually a dog-lover.  Some of my best friends are and have been dogs.  Which, I hasten to add, doesn’t mean that I’m calling some of my best human friends “dogs.”  It means that some of my best friends (e.g., Prince, Giant Dumbhead, Hati, and others) really have been . . . well, dogs.  Biologically speaking.

Please meet the dog that we currently have as a pet.  (Excuse me.  I beg your pardon.  I meant to say “the animal companion who currently shares our residence.”)  Her name is Cho Cho, and she’s a shikoku ken:

I also like cats.  And there’s a tortoise in our back yard.  But that isn’t intended to cast aspersions on dogs.

Please don’t be offended.

 Thanks to Patsy Swinson.

Disclaimer:  This is not intended to make any serious political or ethical point.  It’s a specimen of what is called, in English, a joke.  I don’t, for the record, actually regard human life as cheap.  I don’t put profits over people.  I don’t think that other folks — notably ethnic minorities, the poor, non-Mormons, liberals, women, etc. — are less valuable than prosperous male Caucasian Mormon conservatives are.  (If you read very carefully, you may be able to discern the fact that no ethnic minorities, non-Mormons, liberals, poor people, or women are even mentioned in the joke.)

Please don’t be offended.

Thanks to Anonymous or Forgotten.  I can’t remember which.

Okay.  So I lied.  Plainly, I am engaged in an on-going war against dogs.

Deal with it. 

Go ahead and denounce me.

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