Send Your Love Gifts!

 

Near Ivins, just outside of St. George, Utah

 

Okay.  We’re back.  After a rather slow and sometimes worrisome drive up a very snowy I-15 with poor visibility, I taught my afternoon classes today.

 

Here’s the deal, though:

 

Every time I go down to St. George, I make my way over to Snow Canyon.  This takes me into an area that I find visually stunning.  Very different from my beloved Switzerland but, in its own way, the equal of those dramatic and beautiful alpine landscapes.  And there are very nice housing developments there.

 

I want one of those homes.  I’m usually not very materialistic.  But I do, seriously, want one of those homes.  For weekend use and, eventually, for winter residence.  I love the style of them, and I absolutely love their setting.  The place is pure therapy for my soul.

 

Trouble is, I don’t have the money.

 

So here’s the plan:

 

If every man, woman, and child in the United States were to send me just a single dollar — an amount that they would scarcely notice — I would receive well over three hundred million dollars.

 

Now, I’m not greedy.  And I don’t need that much.

 

Heck, I don’t even need the thirty or thirty-five million that would come my way if only ten percent of American men, women, and children sent me a dollar each.

 

No, the goal I’m aiming for is to get a paltry one percent of Americans to send me a measly dollar.

 

Three or three-and-a-half million dollars would be plenty to allow me to buy and furnish the house I want, with money left over for maintenance and travel expenses.

 

I see myself writing there while sitting out on a patio gazing at the incredible, quiet, richly-colored, ever-changing landscape near Ivins and Tuacahn.  (It’s essential for eye health to look up from the computer screen on a regular basis, focusing on things at a distance.)  I have lots of writing that I want to do.  Far more than I’ve already done.  And this seems an ideal place to do it.

 

Feel free to contact me if you’re interested in contributing to the Daniel C. Peterson Dream Home Fund.  If there are enough inquiries or expressions of interest, I’ll set up a formal bank account with wiring information and the like.

 

 

  • Mike Wooten

    I’ll gladly send you a dollar if you will reciprocate. That way we will only be out 45 cents each (more or less. With forever stamps who knows how much it costs anymore) and the post office will keep running.

  • Tom O.

    Good luck with that. As a backup idea, what about all those members of deposed royalty who need help spiriting money out of their respective countries? I get an email with a solicitation for those kinds of services once per week or so. I’d be happy to forward the next opportunity on to you!

    • danpeterson

      I actually felt a bit guilty about not mentioning all of the money that’s already apparently on my way from widows of deposed West African dictators, victims of terminal cancer in the Caribbean who want me to manage their millions for charity because of my apparently globally-recognized “Christian walk” but who need to know my name and gender, various lotteries, and an assortment of Asian bank managers requiring my help as a partner in enormous fund-transfers.

      It’s just that all that money seems to have been held up, somehow. I’ve been expecting it for years, but none of it has materialized.

  • Eric

    Dan, I’d pay for lunch and give you an extra dollar. –Eric

  • MajMarine

    I’d love to help, but I’m still stuck in Spain waiting for funds to buy airline tickets for my family. But, once I’m home, by golly I’m there for ya.

  • Stephen Smoot

    I thought you were paid handsomely by the Church to churn out apologetic material, Dan. I mean, from all the millions of dollars you surely earned in tithing money while working at FARMS, to the hearty salary Salt Lake City pays you for Interpreter, plus your speaking fees, Deseret News column, this blog, etc., I’d have thought that it’d be YOU buying US dream houses.

  • Tracy Hall Jr

    You ancestors who settled the area were dirt poor. Poverty is your cultural inheritance. Enjoy! :)

  • http://www.yourestatematters.blogspot.com Michael R. Loveridge, J.D.

    Dan, a more lucrative opportunity would be to suggest to the Church Authorities that they establish Church missionary work on a multilevel format and make you the first participant. . . If you convert a new member, you get an override on his or her tithing! Then, sign them up, too, as part of your “downline.” The overrides (especially 10 levels deep) would be amazing! (Eat your heart out, Amway!)

    • danpeterson

      Excellent suggestion.

      Perhaps I need to establish a Daniel Peterson Dream Home Foundation and then recruit a topflight advisory board that would help with a fundraising plan.

  • http://joelsmonastery.blogspot.com Gerald Smith

    Dan, you are thinking too small. You need to organize a commune of members waiting to live the DCP United Order down there. You would have an army of pro-Daniel Peterson defenders always as your next door neighbors, protecting you from malevolent stalkers. You would have the ability to write daily in that inspired and protected place. Of course, you would live in the million dollar home, while they/we would live as your acolytes, performing the arduous task of greening the desert floor and selling quaint knick-knacks to the occasional tourist, making the pilgrimage to hear your modest, yet inspiring words being read. – no more thinking small potatoes here. with such an organization, you could soon have the need for William Hamblin to move nearby, leading the second DCP United Order community!

    • danpeterson

      I’m intrigued by the idea of a southern Utah cult focused on a single charismatic leader (me, of course).

      I don’t believe that the area has seen anything like that before. It would be a first.

  • JL

    I’ve had similar delusional ruminations regarding my burdensome student loan account.

  • John Ziebarth

    I’m sending you a dollar-[and I know where you live] and no, you don’t have to send me one[and I'll pay postage] good luck!

  • Eric
    • danpeterson

      Oh yes indeed. I love Southern Utah, but I also love the Alps. That’s the other soul-satisfying landscape on the planet for me. (The Canadian Rockies will do in a pinch as an Alps-substitute.)

      I like tropical islands and beaches, but alpine scenery and the spectacular red rocks of the southern part of Utah and the northern part of Arizona are what work most deeply on my heart and mind.

      S0 maybe people should send TWO dollars each?

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