How Men’s Selfish Pursuit Of Gratification – At The Expense Of All Else – Is Destroying Real Manhood

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Guys are eternally cavalier about this sex-first, commitment-never values system. Talk to a group of men in a club or out on the basketball court about their conquests, and before long the whole thing turns into a gathering of fourteen-year-olds in a locker room: a festival of laughing high fives and who’s-had-more comparisons. But this isn’t a laughing matter. Just as some women do real damage by throwing themselves at every potential husband, men inflict genuine self-harm by burning endless time, energy, and money in pursuit of meaningless self-gratification.

It’s a waste, and it’s not necessary. We’re not ready to say “boys will be boys” and dismiss men as overgrown adolescents doomed to follow their genitalia over the cliff to humiliation, financial ruin, and even prison. God gave men their sex drive, but He also gifted them with restraint, passion, wisdom, a restless and bold creativity, and the ability to lead and inspire. If you’re a man, all those qualities are in you. All you need is to stop doing the things that keep God’s gifts from being fully expressed in you.

A few months ago Meagan and I had the honor of being interviewed by Maria Shriver for  Architects of Change. Watch the clip above and listen to our conversation about what makes a real man.

What are your thoughts? What do you think makes a real man? Let me know in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you!

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  • Rowena

    For a Christian man to manipulate a woman for sex is total deceit , knowing he wants no relationship with her at all ,,, I don’t know how he can call himself a believer ! It’s happening all the time ! A man should be stronger and not play on the emotions and care that a woman has for him ‘ the woman is left with shame and it is a form of abuse ! It’s also very sad that after the sexual sin , how you are treated by him and that in itself is another sin ,,,, abandoned in the mess ! We all need to wise up , treat each other respectfuly and follow scripturally how to deal with the restoration of the situation ! Unfortunately I done see this happens and yet no one talks much about the importance of this side of things !!

  • Eldon

    Depending on environment ,and upbringing, some of us are bombard by statements like “sow your royal oats” ,and I’ve even heard mothers who don’t want their son’s to marry certain women say this too. I was asked early as 13 was I getting any? Assuming you know what that means you may also know the pressure of that coming from grown men,in particular close relatives. At my core I wanted to have a family ,and I knew it early in life,because I hated my parents not being married, but my neighborhood was a breeding ground it seemed for men of irresponsibility and promiscuity. It took years of looking for the men who were examples of faithfulness for me to believe I could be one of those men. Men like Apostle Fred Price,his son ,and Dr.Mike Freeman ,in particular men of God. I agree with you, and I hope I can be someone of example in my sphere of influence that I didn’t see.