Finding a Good Plumber

Until I met Russ Keene I was at the mercy of the most wicked class of men: the bad plumber. The bad plumber explores those parts of the house we call shameful and gives them great honor by charging great fees to fix them. They smoke more than they work and when they are done, the result leaks more than it works.

And so in Los Angeles meeting Keene was good. Oddly I met him through his kids: talented, smart, and witty. The families chatted about ideas, theater, and nutcrackers (both of us love Christmas!) and then I found he was a plumber.

It was good and he was good.

He fixed things we did not know were broken and charged little.

Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace to plumbers of good will.

Unless you live in Los Angeles you need not care about this particular plumber, though if you live in the Big Nowhere call now.  For the rest of us, I was reminded of the essential greatness of a good plumber by a foolish thing I heard. “I don’t care if a plumber is Christian as long as he is good.”

This is superficially true. In any skilled career one needs skill to have a good career, but there is something more to be said. One should not give money to a rogue or a cad. Keene is not just a skillful plumber, he is a good man. Shouldn’t I want to give my money to a good man?

Too often we hire the cad and sluff it off because we are hiring the “technician” and not the man. We might find, of course, that the cad is also a cheat and a fraud in business. Or not.

It is the “or not” that fools us. We give our money to the roue and get good plumbing. He uses our money to harm others . . . including his own family. We don’t know, don’t care, because our toilet flushes and the sewage we have sent into the culture matters less to us.

This cannot be.

We cannot allow fakery in Christian publishing, because it sells. We cannot allow grifters and frauds to govern us, just because they are good at it. God help us if we cover up for grifters and frauds in Christian ministry because they can raise money or sell our vision.

We need to hire good plumbers . . . not just people who plumb well. We need to hire good teachers, not just people who teach well. When we think we must choose between the two, then the answer should generally be “no.” Wait. The right plumber will come.

Meanwhile, I would rather hire a decent man to do the best he canb than to pay a cad to fix my plumbing perfectly. God help us if we ever decide that our national plumbing does not require a good plumber, but just a plumber who knows what he or she is doing. We must never knowingly turn the what Theodore Roosevelt called a “pulpit” in government to a bully, a cheat, a liar, or a fraud just because we hope they are competent.

So help us, God.