The Weirdest Bible Translation Ever?

September 7, 2011 By 14 Comments

The blog On The Main Line recently had a post entitled “The weirdest Bible translation ever.”

Can you guess which one the author had in mind?

No, it isn’t the Klingon Bible.

It is The Orthodox Jewish Bible: Tanakh and Orthodox Jewish Brit Chadasha by Phillip E. Goble. You can take a look at it in a Google Books preview.

Since this blog has a lot of readers interested in both Bible translation and weirdness, I thought I would share this, and ask whether you agree with the assessment that this is the weirdest Bible translation ever. And if you disagree, then which would you propose as the weirdest?

Filed Under: Bible Tagged With: , , , 14 Comments
  • Mel Schriver

    Cotton Patch Version by Clarence Jordan

  • http://wearethestories.wordpress.com Eric Gregory

    I’m going to go with the Pidgin Bible as the weirdest Bible translation out there.

    http://www.pidginbible.org/

    Excerpt:

    Jesus say, “God wen get so plenny love an aloha fo da peopo inside da world, dat he wen send me, his one an ony Boy, so dat everybody dat trus me no get cut off from God, but get da kine life dat stay to da max foeva.” (John Tell Bout Jesus 3:16)

  • Bob MacDonald

    It’s not weird just only partly translated. His love is easy to follow, just as would be the love of Torah in another. Whether one agrees with all his presuppositions, some common ones as it turns out, is another issue.  I read a few psalms and liked generally what I saw or heard apart from the definitive nature of some of the theological conclusions – not that I disagree but that I think the invitations even to the blind must be open otherwise the work can tend to violence, the very prayer that David voices to be delivered from in psalm 140.  Better to say little – less to unsay.

  • http://www.facebook.com/thatjeffcarter Jeff Carter

    I don’t know if it’s “weird” but I also, on occasion, will break out the Cotton Patch Bible by Clarence Jordan.  

    Or the Black Bible Chronicles – by P.K. McCary

    “Now when the Almighty was first down with His program, He made the heavens and the earth.  The earth was a fashion misfit, being so uncool and dark, but the Spirit of the Almighty came down real tough, so that He simply said, “Lighten up!” And that light was right on time.  And the Almighty liked what he saw and let the light hang out for a while before it was dark again.  He laid out a name for the light, calling it “day” time and the dark He called “night” time so that all around it made up the first day.”

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  • Just Sayin’

    ‘The New Testament in Braid Scots’ by Rev. William Wye Smith, Alexander Gardner Publishers, Paisley, Scotland, 1904.  A scarce book, but I have a copy.

  • http://carpescripturum.wordpress.com/ MrPopularSentiment

    I’m casting my vote for the LOLCat Bible.

  • http://twitter.com/defunctidiom Kerry

    Where can we find this bible with cats?

  • http://carpescripturum.wordpress.com/ MrPopularSentiment

    Through Google, of course! You can buy it at amazon, but it’s also available for free here: http://www.lolcatbible.com/

  • http://www.patheos.com/community/exploringourmatrix/ James F. McGrath

    @Kerry, The LOLcat Bible is available online as well as in print book form as well, if I am not mistaken.

  • Dan McClellan

    The Word on the Street Bible is also pretty silly. From Genesis 1:

    First off, nothing. No light, no time, no substance, no matter. Second off, God starts it all up and WHAP! Stuff everywhere! The cosmos in chaos: no shape, no form, no function– just darkness … total. And floating above it all, God’s Holy Spirit, ready to play. Day one: Then God’s voice booms out, ‘Lights!’ and, from nowhere, light floods the skies and ‘night’ is swept off the scene.

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  • Gary

    “The Word on the Street Bible is also pretty silly”… sounds pretty consistent with the Big Bang and the first inflationary period to me. Space inflation (chaotic inflation) way faster than the speed of light (thus dark, and possible because only empty space is inflating, not energy/matter). Then light after the inflation. The WORD according to Hawking, Kaku, Linde et al.

  • Gary

    Of course, the God part they may have a problem with…