Reformation Rap

Going from the sublime to the somewhat ridiculous and from the 16th century to the 21st, we continue our celebration with the 95 Theses Rap, created by some students at Yale, who recognize just how COOL the Reformation is, with just the right kind of rebellion against established false authorities:

More about this here. And if, like me, you can’t take in rap lyrics without a transcript, here are the words.

OK, the Yalies are a little confused at some points, but they get Luther’s basic points. My favorite lines:

I warned y’all that Rome best agree to the terms.
If not, then you can eat my Diet of Worms!
You think you done something spectacular?
I wrote the Bible in the vernacular!
A heretic! [What?] Someone throw me a bone.
You forgot salvation comes through faith alone.. . .

“Oh snap, he’s messin’ with the holy communion.”
But I ain’t never dissed your precious hypostatic union!
“One place at one time.” Well, thank you Zwingli.
Yeah, way to disregard that whole “I’m God” thingy!
Getting’ all up in my rosary… you little punk.
Your momma shoulda told you not to mess with no monk.. . .

I’ve come back from obscurity to teach y’all a lesson,
Cuz someone here still ain’t read their Augsburg Confession.
I said Catholicism brings a life of excess,
And we all remember what went down with Philip of Hesse!
But you forgot about me and my demonstration?
Like you can just create your own denomination?
“We don’t like this part, so we’ll just add a little twist.”
Now we Anglican, Amish, and even Calvinist.
I gave you the power, you gone and abused it.
I gave you God’s truth, you just confused it.

HT: Mollie

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  • I think it’s been too long since we had a good religious war.

  • Susan aka organshoes

    I’m down with The Reformation Rap…as long as it’s never included in the Divine Service…
    As for ‘a good religious war’: we surely lack good war correspondents, who’d explain issues with neutrality as well as accurately relay the body count.

  • NQB

    Haha, this is incredible. Just in case you all didn’t know, this is parody of Jay-Z’s ’99 Problems’ and a surprisingly good one at that. I think some of the confusing parts are obscured because they try to parallel the original.

  • Joe
  • Bryan Lindemood

    That’s kinda fun. While your reading the 95 Theses tonight, don’t forget to pray Luther’s Small Catechism. Its a real gem!

  • Anon

    Lars, what are you saying? We are in a religious war. It began fourteen centuries ago, and we have several divisions abroad fighting it even as we speak.

  • @3 NQB: Thanks for doing the source critical analysis!

  • Michael the little boot

    Anon @ 6,

    Once again, I ain’t letting THIS get away. “We are in a religious war. It began fourteen centuries ago, and we have several divisions abroad fighting it even as we speak.” Nice to know your position. Nice, and, well, scary.

  • Susan aka organshoes

    The Reformation was and is about a much older war, between God’s good creation and the devil.
    All others are just wars within the war.

  • kerner


    I have a son who served 3 tours in Iraq, and he gets really angry when his service is characterized that way.

    As long as we are on Lutheran Youtube, why not this:

  • kerner