A Prayer Before Ramadan

  Oh, Allah.

 I remember the Ramadans before I got married. How they would be filled with night prayers, reading Qur’an, supplications in the dead of night.

 And I remember the Ramadan two months after I gave birth to my twin daughters, and I cry. That must have been my worst Ramadan ever, in my scale.

 And I remember the Ramadan when my girls were one year old, and it wasn’t much of a Ramadan for me, either.

 And I remember last year, when my girls were two years old. Nothing to be proud of.

 Oh, Allah. How I wish this Ramadan will be better than the last few years’. I’m so confused. I want to make You happy. I want to really get the essence of Ramadan and why it was prescribed for us, and pass it on to my daughters. Because now I know, as a mother of young kids, that it’s not just about reading Qur’an all day and praying all night, because I can’t do that anymore, and You promised You wouldn’t burden anyone with more than they could bear.

 Oh, Allah. I’m not able to think how I’m going to worship You the best way this Ramadan, with two little girls who demand so much of me. I can’t stay up all night praying and then sleep on the couch all day ignoring my girls. I can’t push them away so I can read Qur’an for hours on end.

 Oh, Allah. You know what the best way for a mother to worship in Ramadan is. Please let me know, too.

                                                                                                               Asiya Akyurt

Asiya Akyurt lives in Virginia with her husband and twin daughters. She is an active MAS member with an ijaza (certificate) in Qur’anic recitation and tajweed, and enjoys teaching, interpreting and translating.

  • http://growmama.com Dalal

    A prayer that probably every mom shares, thank you for putting it so articulately. And ameen!

  • Amane


  • ummossama

    Masha’allah your prayer is a gem!!! Soo heartfelt and beautifully written….I think Growmama should publish it at the beginning of every Ramadan!!!iA

  • Maha

    In so few words, you just captured what is going through the heart and mind of every mom right now. Ameen!!!!

  • Maha

    In a few simple words, you just captured what is going through the heart of every mom hoping to get closer to Allah this Ramadan.

  • Ambata

    Ameen! May Allah bless you for your sacrifices. Just know that Allah is with us as we try to balance fasting and worship with taking care of our little ones. We aren’t called the UMMah for nothing! Jazak Allah Khair and Ramadan Mubarak!

  • aasiya.versi

    Thank you so much for posting this :)

  • UmJawaad

    Ameen, Ameen…Jazak Allahu Khair for articulating oh so well, what many of us mums feel and experience. May Allah help us all to strike a balance between our worship and responsibilities, aameen.

  • S

    This sounds exactly like me! Except my girls just turned two and are so demanding that my hopes for this Ramadan don’t seem to be materializing yet. Please consider a post in which you share some practical ideas on what has worked for you to derive any benefit from Ramadan even with your constraints.

  • sacmom

    JAK for sharing, and i thought that was just me, so i was beating myself up for my situation, and beating myself up for being so “lazy” and not being able to be “normal”….but your duaa & the sisters comments made me feel a little “normal”….and got e to thinking that although i can’t do a lot of ibaat and acts of worship i used to do in Ramadan, i think we can up the intensity of the smallest acts we do daily, renew our intention, and share why we do what we do with our children. iA may Allah swt have mercy on us and teach and enlighten us to be merciful with ourselves-Ameen

  • Nosheen

    Salaam, I think all mothers have similar feeling during Ramadan. For the last 5 years I’ve either been pregnant or nursing and needing to spend my days and nights with kids. But I’ve come to a new realization recently. And actually I feel that with young kids, Allah has blessed me with the opportunity to get more good deeds than I would have otherwise been able to achieve. See, with children, you need to teach them everything. As a mother this job tends to fall to you. And every righteous act you teach you gain rewards for, every time your child shares that until the day of Judgment you still get rewards, every time those others share that knowledge, you still get rewards. Just think of how much that can mean, ie a simple thing like wudu, you teach them, and they perform it at every prayer mulitply that by 5 times a day, 7 days a week, 4 times a month, 12 times a year etc etc. With a simple paradigm shift you can see, Allah has actually blessed you so much. Not many other people have an opportunity to influence others in such a way, to teach Islam so completely to someone. Also my husband was telling me yesterday how if you feed a fasting person you have your sins erased. And that job again tends to fall to mothers/wives. So on top of feeding your spouse make a little extra and share it with your friends. While doing the things you normally do you can get so much reward! And Inshallah we will get to that phase again where we can immerse ourselves in Quran and Salat, our littles ones grow so quickly. Until than I hope this helps.