In Case I Haven’t Bored You Enough Lately

Hello! Well, that’s enough about you. Let’s talk about me some more, shall we? Great! I know! Let’s talk about what I did today! Whoo-hoo!

First, I finished the outline for a book that, as coincidence has it, was due today. It is a thing of wonder. I’m sure everyone at the receiving end of the outline will veritably swoon as they marvel at its beneficent munificence. Which I’m quite sure are two actual words.

THEN I drove to ever-splendid Downtown San Diego in order to meet and gnosh with glamorous brainiac Jackie H.,  Marketing Honcho for the big, famous, long-established repetory (repretory? repetrory? repertroury?) theater down there. It seems that this October and November, said theater is going to feature as one of their really gargantuan shews The Reduced Shakespeare Company, performing their show “The Bible: The Complete Word of God (abridged)”.

Jackie, et al were wondering whether or not I might like to do a little something on their lobby stage AFTER that show–whether, as a “special guest,” I’d like to read from one of my books, or give a talk, or … whatever else I might like to do. Isn’t that nice of them? Most critically, I think, is that they said they’d feed me lunch if I came and chatted with them about my potential Special Night.  So I was there like hair on a Care Bear.

The lunch–eaten at a place called (I think) The Brazillian Grille–was sheer carnivorous delight. You know how Old McDonald had a farm? Well, he doesn’t anymore. I ate it. The pig, the cow, the turkey–gone. Now Old McDonald just has grass that goes, “whisper whisper here, whisper whisper there.” Poor guy.

Anyway, I’m gonna do something with the San Diego Repertory Theater on the evening of October 21. I have no idea what, yet. But something. As with today’s outline, I trust that when the time has come, I will, somehow, manage to get the job done! (For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about there, I’ve been doing this routine for a while now about how, come what may, I always get the job done! It’s stupid, but … well, it’s just stupid. But I like it.)

And now, I’m off to clean the kitchen and then make dinner before going to pick up my wife from work. Tomorrow’s her birthday! We’re going to San Diego’s Wild Animal Park! Wootwoot!

Desperately hoping to one day be able to act anywhere near my age,


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  • Cool! My own stalker!

    But, alas, this book here–the BOOM book I did with Steve–isn't the book for which the outline was due. BOOM! Then Your Life is Half Over is already done. It's great, too. Steve's awesome to work with.

    More later!

  • nisperos

    Well, sorry to disappoint…

    But it was a round-about way I found out. I went to a brick and mortar Barnes and Noble to get one of your books… and they didn't have ANY of them, not even "Comma Sense"! I came home, because, although I have a gift certificate and I could've had them order it for me or buy it on line from them, I'd already seen the cheaper price on Amazon.

    But, what really got me going was that the counter guy at Barnes & Noble said you had also edited a book called "Colorants & Auxiliaries "in 1990 — I said "Can't be, that's a common name". He said, "I came up with it directly linked to his name on one of his other books, so it must be."

    So, I'll admit to curiosity. I came home and "Googled" your name and Colorants and the UK Amazon link popped up which I naturally scrolled down. I see that the "Boom" book is up on Amazon US as well. But really, you're not the editor of an Organic Chemistry text, are you?

    And no, I didn't go just for your book either. I also was going to purchase the book Trilby (, a turn of the century popular novel which they also didn't have. However, they did have Dave Barry's "The Greatest Invention In The History Of Mankind Is Beer" on sale for $2 which I passed on.

    I also stopped in at Michael's, but the framing job they are doing for me was started but not yet finished, and really not promised until tomorrow.

    I went next door and stocked up on organic oatmeal at the health store and complained that they carried Dwell and Oprah's "O" mag, but not Atomic Ranch. Have you noticed lately that everyone's excuse when you complain about something seems to be "it's a corporate decision"? And, that many of the small brands of stuff you eat at home like picante sauce and ketchup; brand names which you grew up with, are now a division of a larger food conglomerate?

    We also went to eat Thai — Yum! Yum! A local place, for now, however, I just recently found out one of my favorite local breakfast/lunch spots became a franchise 2 years ago…

    And now… the 3rd load of laundry is in the dryer…

    Well, onward…

  • Sorry you couldn't find my books. "Comma Sense" wasn't in, probably, because it just–and I mean, today is the official release date–came out in paperback, so stores usually wait to order that. The other two are very small titles. Luckily for me, they're growing–both, amazingly enough, are due for second printings–but they're still only distributed pretty irregularly. For SURE the best place to buy either of those two books is via Amazon or B&N. Thanks for trying, though! I sure do appreciate that.

  • Oh, and no, I never edited the "Colorants" book. I don't even know that WORD.

  • nisperos

    So, shall I spill the beans? The Internet already has the title of one of your new books, so it’s an open secret including the publication date of February 2008:

  • You are such a geek.

  • I prefer "nerd," thank you.

  • snowhite197

    That theatre thing sounds cool, john! You are going to put it on youtube for us, aren't u??? PLS???

  • Well, that’s kind of you, Snow. But no. I mean, I’d have to FILM it. Wait. Maybe I SHOULD.

    Me, on Youtube. That DOES have a certain ring to it, of … inevitability.