Go to Work as the Twelve Days of Christmas!

Ring! Ring!

Want to this year spread so much holiday cheer that even your boss is sure to commend you for it? Then show up to work, every day for twelve days in a row, dressed like a different character from The Twelve Days of Christmas !

Here are some simple costume ideas to help you make this classic Christmas carol come alive for you, your co-workers, and all of the people sure to point and stare at you on the street.

Partridge in pear tree: Cut your hair in the fun unishag style that David Cassidy so rocked on the old Partridge Family TV show.

Fill your pockets with pears and tree bramble. Done. (While in the company of your less astute co-workers, you may want to sing the classic Partridge Family hit, “I Think I Love You!” to make sure they’re totally clear on what you’re doing.)

Turtle dove: Buy about a dozen of those little pet store turtles. Put some Super Glue on the shell of each. Attach turtles to clothes. Put on a long-sleeve shirt; cover your arms with Elmer’s glue;  jam both of your arms into a down pillow you’ve cut open. Go.

French hen: Don a beret. Say nothing but “wee-wee! (sp?)” for the entire day. Also put eggs in all of your pockets.

Calling birds: Attach feathers to clothes. Spend day phoning co-workers.

Golden ring: Cover every inch of your body and clothing gold spray paint. Put your cell phone in your pocket. Program your desk or home phone to continuously call your cell phone. Do not answer your cell phone when it rings.

Goose a-laying: Attach feathers to clothes. Lie on floor.

Swan a-swimming: Attach feathers to clothes. Fill up employee break-room sink with water. While making loud honking noises, splash everyone who walks by.

Maid a-milking: Skip this one. No need to act so unprofessionally that you actually get fired. I mean, c’mon. It’s a song.

Lady dancing: Wig and fake breasts optional for guys. Flowing skirt not.

Lord a-leaping: Dress as much as possible like this guy:

prince0001.jpg

Jump a lot.

Piper piping: Bring a bunch of pipe to work. Pretend to be installing it around everyone’s desk and cubicle.

Drummer drumming: Bring a drum of your own, or bring drumsticks. But drum like crazy on everything in the office.

Done! Write me and let me know how it goes! And remember: bloggers are not liable in lawsuits for wrongful termination!

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About John Shore

John Shore (who, fwiw, is straight) is the author of UNFAIR: Christians and the LGBT Question, and three other great books. He is founder of Unfundamentalist Christians (on Facebook here), and executive editor of the Unfundamentalist Christians group blog.  (In total John's two blogs receive some 250,000 views per month.) John is also co-founder of The NALT Christians Project, which was written about by TIME,  The Washington Post, and others. His website is JohnShore.com. John is a pastor ordained by The Progressive Christian Alliance. You're invited to like John's Facebook page. And don't forget to sign up for his mucho awesome monthly newsletter.

  • http://www.rachelrandolph.com Rachel

    Did you see The Office episode last night where Andy gave his secret pal The Twelve Days of Christmas? Not such a good idea! Dressing as The Twelve Days of Christmas…much better. And thank you for keeping your suggestions professional.

  • http://www.epcomm.com/ddawson Dennis Dawson

    You have to watch the very end to see it, but thanks to the miracle of extended marketing, we have extended far beyond a mere 12 days….

    http://gallery.mac.com/wdevore#100599

  • http://www.1truebeliever.wordpress.com wickle

    The good news is, you probably won't have to worry about having skipped the maid a-milking. I'm sure you'd be fired LONG before then.

    This is great, John, thanks for sharing!

  • Christine

    BRILLIANT!! GENIUS! I am asking myself WHY no one has given me this idea before??!! You are my new hero, and now off to work, I will tell you how it goes it I am alive in twelve days hahahahahahaha

  • http://skerrib.blogspot.com skerrib

    I once had a student who, for a week, came to school dressed like a different Pez dispenser, which I thought could never be topped. But the Twelve Days thing most definitely tops the Pez dispensers…rock on.

  • Christine

    ok, so went in gold yesterday (seemed the safest one to do) but apparently, unless it is an officially sanctioned 'dress up at work day', you aren't suppose to create your own themes to dress up in. They found it pretty funny though and showed them your blog so you might have some new followers soon ahhahahahaha……..

  • Cynthia H.-W.

    I love your sense of humor, John….because it reminds me of how my twisted mind worked before the right wing got hold of it for seven years. Thankfully, reading your blog is a great way to get my twistedness back in working order. If I had co-workers, I would totally roll myself in glue & feathers…but alas, my only co-workers are my two bosses, and I’m afraid they’re not much of an audience.

    Rock on, you funny Christian. You da man!


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