Anxiety After Divorce? You Can Begin to Recover With This 16th Century Soldier

It’s easy to put the saints on a pedestal and decide that nothing they wrote or said could possibly apply to you, but when you experience moments of darkness, especially during or after divorce, one saint in particular is waiting to assist you and help you persevere.

Do you feel anxiety, depression, darkness, weakness? Suffering is certainly different for each of us human beings, yet also unique because of our unique circumstances and personalities. Catholics who were abandoned suffer in ways that are different than those who made the difficult decision to leave an unhealthy relationship. Our common denominator is that we’re wounded and we’d like some support and consolation. But our pain and suffering from divorce doesn’t exclude us from growing in holiness.

It may be surprising to know that a 16th century soldier felt those same emotions that you’ve felt, but it’s true. While this soldier, St. Ignatius of Loyola, didn’t experience the trauma of divorce, he did experience the trauma of a battle-field injury that left him permanently crippled. Pain is pain, whether our suffering is physical, emotional, or spiritual.

The Soldier-Saint’s Suffering

St. Ignatius of Loyola lived in the beginning of the 16th century, born in 1492 and dying in 1556. Ignatius was born into the aristocracy and became a soldier by the time he was eighteen. Ignatius was severely wounded during a battle. A serious injury to his legs involved multiple painful surgeries. Remember. there was no anesthetic back then, so when I say “painful surgeries” I think we can agree that the man suffered.

Although the doctors told him that he would likely die, he was a tough cookie. Instead of dying, Ignatius found new life when he experienced a powerful conversion during his extended convalescence. Ignatius then left everything behind to dedicate his life to serving God. He eventually formed the Jesuit religious order and left us with the gift of his writings and prayers. I discovered the prayer below and hope it will give hope and consolation to you, as it has for me.

Prayer Against Depression
by Saint Ignatius of Loyola

O Christ Jesus,
when all is darkness
and we feel our weakness and helplessness,
give us the sense of your presence,
Your love, and your strength.
Help us to have perfect trust
in your protecting love
and strengthening power,
so that nothing may frighten or worry us,
for, living close to you,
we shall see your hand,
Your purpose, your will through all things.

So He’s Like Us?

Yes! Saints have experienced emotions and feelings just as you have. Whether or not we can attain there level of holiness (wouldn’t it be awesome if we could!), learning from the saints can lead us beyond our current struggles to lift our eyes to God’s strength, trust, love and power.

It’s easy to put a saint on a pedestal and decide that nothing they wrote or said could possibly apply to you. This can stall your spiritual growth. Be like the “Little Engine That Could” as it chugged up the mountain: “With God’s grace I can, with God’s grace I can, with God’s grace I can!”

Sometimes it helps me to take a prayer like this and “customize it.” In this prayer, I change the petition from “our” to “my.” You can do this with any prayer or scripture verse. I find it helps me to enter in more deeply to certain prayers when I “customize” them in this way.

My Slightly Adapted Version of St. Ignatius’s Prayer Against Depression

O Christ Jesus,
when all is darkness
and I feel my weakness and helplessness,
give me the sense of your presence,
Your love, and your strength.
Help me to have perfect trust
in your protecting love
and strengthening power,
so that nothing may frighten or worry me,
for, living close to you,
I shall see your hand,
Your purpose, your will through all things.

Never Give Up!

Don’t give up on your personal ability to grow and change. Suffering will come in many forms during your lifetime. No one is immune to suffering, but heaven is your goal. In the light of eternity, life here on earth is short. Your sufferings will one day end. Right now your work is to cling to God as hard as you can through the moments of darkness. Saints such as St. Ignatius of Loyola are gifts who help strengthen us as we grow in holiness so that we may be with God for ever. Saint Ignatius of Loyola, pray for us!

Amanda Rose is a divorced Catholic mom who also writes at DivorcedCatholicMoms.com and LittleStespAlongTheWay.com.