Other memorable Oscar quotes of the day…

“You can’t pasteurize the Academy Award, you can’t negotiate it. It is the top.” – Felicity Huffman, Transamerica

Hate to break it to you, Ms. Huffman, but, well, you’re completely wrong.

“I was completely surprised.” – Reese Witherspoon, Walk the Line

Ummm… if any nomination this year was a lock, it was yours, Reese. Give yourself some credit.

“My levels of gratitude will be overflowing all day, so I’ll be making a mess as they spill all over wherever I go.” – Bennett Miller, Capote

I liked your film, Mr. Miller, but ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww….

“This year’s featured films paint a portrait of America that is guaranteed to have the Bush crowd fulminating. This is a land where the frontier is a hotbed of gay love, and where the cities are seething cauldrons of race hate . It is a country where the workplace is a site for sexual harassment, the heroes are pimps and the pioneer spirit is embodied by a pre-operative transsexual.” – Xan Brooks, Guardian UK

Yeah. Right. “The Bush crowd” is against love. They’re all racists. They’re all for sexual harrassment. And who in their right mind could possibly not view pimps and transsexuals as our country’s guiding lights?

“We didn’t make the film for any kind of political movement. We never expected to change people’s minds. But if it does affect people’s hearts, if perceptions can get altered, that’s a good thing.” – Heath Ledger, Brokeback Mountain

So… what perception do you want your movie to give us, Heath? That Ennis and Jack would have lived happily ever after if they hadn’t been persecuted? The movie doesn’t convince me of that. That Ennis and Jack were in love? Looked more like lust and a preoccupation with nostalgia to me. That infidelity is a brave and wonderful thing? Sorry… the only thing that broke my heart in Brokeback Mountain was thinking about poor Alma and how badly their kids need a good role model for a dad.

“I’m going to celebrate by flying to Cabo and having a shot of tequila.” – George Clooney, on his three nominations

Ahh… the words of the man with the moral high ground. George, that statement is so, so, so much better than your Golden Globes acceptance speech.

“… I’m not certain that there’s ever been a film that has a gay romance that’s been embraced this way. But on the other hand the film is about a lot more than that. I’ve said this before, but it’s sort of like saying ‘Lonesome Dove’ is just a story about a cattle drive.” – Diana Ossana, nominated with Larry McMurtry Brokeback Mountain.

Yeah, it’s ALSO about cheating on your wife, betraying your kids, plunging into hasty unprotected sex with someone you’ve just met, and convincing yourself that you’ll be happy if you can just get back to that summer when you cut yourself off from the rest of the world and pretended your actions didn’t have consequences.

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  • mark


    Sorry for getting you excited. Mike is a friend of mine also and I was referring to him in a more general way. Virtually everything I have seen him do is excellent from his photography, the best portrait ever done of my wife and me, to his teaching, or even a card of encouragement. He has the ability to frame a question better than just about anyone I know. I don’t know of anything else he has published but it is a crime if he hasn’t.

  • Jeffrey Overstreet

    “I’ve never know Mike to write anything that wasn’t.”


    Do you mean to say you’ve read something else that he’s written? I’m just curious, because he’s a dear friend of mine, and I wasn’t aware he’d published anything else…

  • mark

    Why did I read this? I knew that it would leave me depressed beyond reason. It is brilliantly written. I’ve never know Mike to write anything that wasn’t. I’m not sure I’m completely capable of understanding it. I am certain that by its definition I am not nor will I ever be an artist. I have never, to the best of my knowledge, done anything in my life without knowing precisely why I was doing it. If I understand the article correctly, that means I can never be an artist.

  • Redcell

    Totally agree with you on Reese Witherspoon.


  • Michael Rew

    Have you considered the possibility that “Brokeback Mountain” is Ang Lee’s payback to evangelicals who fawned over “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”? I noticed this as one of a so far three-part trend of VERY immoral or controversial art following on the coattails of art critically acclaimed by evangelicals.

    The other two include the upcoming “V for Vendetta,” which sports a cross as a logo and bashes reactionary white males. This comes after the phenomenal Wachoski “Matrix Trilogy,” which was much talked about among emergent evangelicals. Plus it came out that one of the Wachoski brothers is into BDSM. Really? Who would have guessed after some of those scenes in “Matrix Trilogy”?

    Third, Kanye West. He got press for having a Jesus song with a Jesus actor in the video. Now he will be appearing as a crucified Christ figure on the cover of “The Rolling Stone.”

    Award shows are becoming all too predictable. Whatever makes money while making conservatives the most angry tends to win the most nominations and/or awards.

  • Adam Walter

    Ledger says: We never expected to change people’s minds. But if it does affect people’s hearts, if perceptions can get altered…

    Yeah, typical. The issue isn’t about reason (that is, changing minds & winning arguments), about right thinking, about reasoned, ethical behavior. It’s about feelings (“affecting hearts”) and “perceptions.” Ah, these poor people who can’t imagine anything more coherent or consistent than emotion and image–what a sad commentary on the culture.

  • Anders

    I must say, I like that Clooney comment the best. LOL.

    He seems like the only one with any sense of perspective on these things (AKA they don’t really matter, but it’s a nice party).