As a cringing, servile, appropriately obsequious follower of your Brooding Dark Lordness, I would like to know how someone as obviously Dark and Brooding and as Dark Lordy (Lordish?) as yourself can have a granddaughter who is the very personification of Sweet and Innocent Cuddly-Wuddly Cuteness? Isn’t this a classic case of what’s called cognitive dissonance? Inquiring minds want to know.
A reader wants to know:
As you can see from this recent photo of a get-together I had with some of my cringing minions, my smoldering good looks bring out the bow-and-scrape impulse that burns to be expressed in the heart of every good sycophant, toady, yes-man, suckup and grovelling minion. Because of it, the servants, thralls, slaves, and serfs pictured here never suspected a thing when I invited them to dine. You should have seen the looks on their faces when the chairs they sat down upon suddenly bound them fast by my magick arts and then the whirling blades of death appeared and…
Oh, but I don’t want to spoil the surprise for the next group of obsequious lickspittles who displease me. And besides, I digress.
In answer to your question, gentle reader: The Cuteness gets her looks from her mother.