Cultured Barbarian feels good about herself

…for murdering her inconvenient child, bravely faces applause from upscale suburban NY Times readers for her courageous choice to look after herself, her needs, her desires, her wants. Her. Her. Her.

God have mercy on a person who could write such vapid, smug horror.

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  • That story turned my stomach. What a selfish b****. I wouldn’t even say she’s cultured. Culture requires compassion.

  • Ben

    That was horrible. Cool, calculated evil.

  • Chilling. Reminds me of a story I found where Chelsea Handler more or less made the same boast. But I noticed this sentence:

    “I look down and think that if I hadn’t had the abortion, there would be a baby seat next to me with a small child in it, resting comfortably, knowing it would always be safe because I was in charge.”

    She then goes on to say she’s never had regrets over the abortion. For some reason, the fact that she mentions this reflection on the child-that-might-have-been at all makes me wonder. If I had no regrets, I’m not sure I would say it that way. Perhaps I’m looking for a glimmer of humanity in an article otherwise deprived of the slightest inkling of it. But that’s what I thought.

    • Chris

      I think you are correct, Dave. She is whistling in the dark, hoping to be reassured that she did the right thing. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have needed to write the OpEd.

  • S. Murphy

    Yeah. There were five of us. Mom chose love, every single time. There was a teen pregnancy, that was dealt with by adoption through Catholic Charities. The adoptive parents let my sister be part of her son’s life – he grew up knowing his birth mother. He met his birth father’s mother for the first time at my Mom’s funeral – kissed her on the cheek and called her Grandma. Love wins every time.
    This lady, I can’t understand. But she has no idea what she missed.
    Lord, have mercy; Christ, have mercy; Lord, have mercy.

  • bob

    In 1918 my grandmother was 3 months pregnant with child #3 and her husband died of the influenza. Catholic lady, yet I’m glad it was Catholic then, not now; too much chance of counsel to get rid of the baby. I’m here because of that. AND because when my mother was similarly “trapped” (her term at the time) there was no Roe decision. Sometimes it just boils down to when you were in the uterus.

  • Sadie

    This woman admits her son or daughter was a child. But she didn’t “want” her child, so she ripped it to shreds. No, Ms. Heath, I would not call you a slut. I will call you evil. You are a part of a very long history of depraved people who have dehumanized other human beings, brutally killed them, and shrugged and said “eh.”

  • Peggy R

    I don’t even have to look. I declined to click on a headline I saw this weekend. This woman’s soul is dead. God have mercy on her, is all one cay pray or think.

  • Peggy R

    Oh, cripes. Mea culpa x3. I thought for sure this was about sicko Sarah Silverman’s actions which you’ll have to google to find out about.

    • Peggy R

      P.S. Not that this woman is any less disgraceful. And as I did look into it, Silverman faked having an abortion–a sick joke. But, this woman really killed a baby.

  • Mark S (not for Shea)

    Allow me to pick a nit, since it is a personal peeve of mine:

    In our culture, when we want to point out that something is brutal or horrific, we call it “barbaric.” But if you read history, you’ll note that the so-called “barbarians” actually had very tight-knit family-oriented societies with very strict codes of personal conduct and unyielding sense of honor. It was only in the so-called “cultured civilizations” where vice became virtue, corruption became pragmatism, and human misery became on institution of law.

    In short, what this poor woman did is so horrible that I wouldn’t compliment her by calling her a barbarian.

  • Not that I disagree with you all, but I do hope you all realize that very many readers of the NYT piece and beyond will sympathize with this 72-year old grandmother, seeing her four children and eight grandchildren as proof that she is a warm, giving woman who was “smart enough” to recognize when she had reached her maximum capacity for extending herself. The opinion piece itself is not chilling. What’s chilling is how many of my friends (yes, friends) and neighbors — and probably yours –will agree with her and see her as a decent woman.

    This article could easily have been written by a slave-owner before the war between the states, explaining that her family and their way of life contributed solidly to the general weal of the nation with their compassionate, thoughtful management of a few household and field workers who, oh yes, were not exactly “employed” by them but were more like family retainers for whose care they assumed complete responsibility.

    The human capacity for self-delusion is seemingly infinite. I had a career in Corrections when I was younger. When I first became a probation/parole officer, the other female PO in the office took me under her wing. She told me that I might be surprised to discover that I had no criminals on my 99+ caseload. Every person on my caseload, she said, would have a good reason for why he was in the system. “It was my friends’ [drugs, guns, stolen car], I didn’t know anything about it.” “I had a lousy lawyer.” “I hitched a ride, didn’t know they were going to hold up a liquor store.” “I stole it for my daughter.” Nobody would admit to doing wrong, she said.

    I found that almost exactly right. Of all of the folks I had in my caseload, the only one who admitted his crime and expressed any regret was a middle-class shoplifter. Everyone else saw themselves as basically innocent, doing the best they could in a system stacked against them.

    Pro-choice feminists who went through the Roe v Wade times thought of women as a historically oppressed class doing the best they could in a system stacked against them. Control over reproduction was and still is seen as the key to equalization with men. Once you swallow the Big Lie that a fetus has no moral worth beyond that which its mother assigns it, you can and will do whatever you need to do in order to keep your life at your comfort level.

    I am convinced that people do “cool, calculated evil” when they have fooled themselves, or been deceived, into thinking that evil is good. The natural law may be written in their hearts, but the voices that drown out conscience are both loud and seductive, aligning themselves with self-centeredness as they always do.

  • Ted Seeber

    Yep, she’s not a slut. She was married, and thus does not fit the technical definition in this situation.

    She and her husband are evil and robbed their children of a sibling. An option was perfectly available to her to teach her sons about life by having the older children take some of the responsibility for the younger; she robbed them of these lessons.

  • Sigh…these stories are oh so tough for me to read.

  • Scratch a bleeding-heart liberal feminist, find a cold, bloodless libertarian.

  • Margaret

    Poor baby. 🙁 <–(Apparently that comment is too short for the spambot.)

  • An Atheist

    You know what’s effective at reducing abortions? Positive sex ed and a social safety net. Just compare the number of abortions in western Europe to the US if you don’t believe me–and within the US itself the lowest abortion rates are in Blue States.

    • Ted Seeber

      I’d be impressed if the sex ed portion wasn’t so bad. But I said something similar in another Shea blog today- that the absolute best way to reduce abortions, is the corporal works of mercy. Particularly to the mothers, though I’ve also turned the young fathers around simply by offering them a way out that *didn’t* include killing the child.

      • An Atheist

        Well western Europe also, surprisingly, has more restrictive abortion laws. But I wouldn’t be opposed to more restrictions on abortion in exchange for more safety net support for the mother and her child, with things like paid maternity leave (even most *developing* countries mandate this, let alone developed ones), flexible work hours, free public daycare and the like.

        • S. Murphy

          Sounds like a fair deal to me. Let’s stage a coup, and hook it up.

    • Blue states have the lowest abortion rates? You are dead wrong:

      Not only that, NYC is the abortion capital of the world. You should get your facts together before you amke a statement.

      • An Atheist

        You’re right, I mixed up teen pregnancy rates (highest in red states with abstinence-only sex ed) with abortion rates.

        Still, western Europe has lower rates of abortion than the US.

        • Mike Petrik

          Yes, due to stricter laws. Yawn.

        • Abstinence works every time it’s tried.

        • Noah D

          Teen pregnancy rate, or teen birth rate? Those are not the same thing.

  • Therese Z

    The fact that she can picture the actual baby, “resting comfortably next to her,” is the most chilling – she even knows it’s a girl. If she said it was just a lump of tissue she was having removed, it would be more consistent. If the child was known to have a devastating birth defect, you could see how she could make her decision, absent the facts and the Truth, but to see an actual healthy child in your mind and then kill her…..

    I hope her boys know someday that they have a sister that was inconvenient. They can then count themselves lucky, not to be of a particular family, but to have survived at all.

  • Irenist

    Lately I’ve come across a number of critical raves for the new HBO program “Girls.” One of its oft-mentioned sources of delight for liberal t.v. critics is that one of its episodes treats abortion as matter-of-fact and okay, rather than wrenching and wrong. Without any further comment on “Girls” itself (which I haven’t seen, but which is very intelligently written, by all these accounts), I think there is going to be far more of a push in pop culture in future years to desensitize people to abortion. Having an abortion episode may be about to become fashionable, just as the inclusion of gay characters has been for a while now.

    • dpt

      “One of its oft-mentioned sources of delight for liberal t.v. critics is that one of its episodes treats abortion as matter-of-fact and okay, rather than wrenching and wrong.”

      I’ve wonder if abortion is so matter of fact and just another medical procedure, then why not televise one being performed? On cable, there have been medical programs showing open heart surgery, etc., so if abortion is okay then why not feature it on a medical show?

      Of course it is not shown because it would expose abortion for what it really is.

      • An Atheist

        Anybody who says abortion isn’t any different from any other medical procedure is being intellectually dishonest. You could have maybe said that in the 1970s but not now with better ultrasound technology. And I say this as someone who doesn’t support the criminalization of abortion.

  • So basically, this author is admitting she’s part of the problem and justifies it with her “okayness”.

    When she said she was 72 and live in the northeast I just said to myself “I’m not surprised”. Rae had it right, this lady, writing in the NYT was preaching to the choir. She needs prayers.

  • John C

    Yuppie madness. Nice “lifesyle choice”, lady.

  • Elaine S.

    “She is whistling in the dark, hoping to be reassured that she did the right thing.”
    A lot of women who say they are pro-choice may be doing just that. But you never know what is going on in their lives or in their heart. Look at people like Dr. Bernard Nathanson, who also aborted one of his own children (he performed an abortion on a girlfriend) and perhaps more than 60,000 other children, and gave many years of his life to defending abortion — he turned pro-life and died a Catholic.
    If and when it finally hits them what they have done and they start to mourn their lost child, where are they going to go to find forgiveness and peace? Not to other pro-aborts who will continue to insist they don’t need forgiveness because they haven’t done anything wrong, and will probably start treating them as “traitors to the cause”. That’s where pro-lifers — particularly those who have had or been involved in abortions and repented — need to step up to the plate.

    • kmk

      Amen, Elaine–we all need to point to the depths of the Divine Mercy. There is always a chance until she takes her last breath.

  • Glen H

    I guess she feels good for only killing 20% of her children, instead of…well, a larger percentage.

  • Observer

    @MrShea and All:

    Without reading the article and yet knowing charity, the inconsistency is not anything new. When Pharisee’s prayed and proclaimed in public, Jesus said they get their reward (i.e. what is good is already given to them when in the public square.) Following, He told the Apostles to pray to Father in a place of solitude and not to to things for mere presentation (and granstanding.) The point is God’s will for the lady and for all of us is pure and perfect charity (which, as St. Paul has demonstrated over-and-over again, does not boast.)

    And so following from St. Paul’s description of charity, humility is acknowlegement of the very truth in which love does not presume nor gives way (and doesn’t give into nor presupposes pride.) And for us, the truth is God is love (and not the other way around per St. John the Apostle – and I fail myself to observe. Please pray for me.)

    The failure in the above article is presupposing boasting as the way in whic love works (the error in thinking and being disposed to the chilling idea of pride.) Pride is what the Pharisee’s gave into and subjected Christ (and His Apostles and Disciples) to it’s very aim and core (eternal separation from God and wanting love without God in His undeniable presence of mercy and love after passing away – saying, “I did nothing wrong. I don’t need your charity.”)

    Pray for her.

  • B.E. Ward

    I can’t inbed a reply using the mobile version of Patheos, but Rae is spot-on. Sorta reminds me of some of Theodore Dalrymple’s writings.

  • Brian Q

    Lord have mercy on her and on the child she never gave herself the chance to love. That’s all I got right now….

  • I would a Rachel’s Vineyard group set up outside every abortuary. If people really knew what they could find in the Church. They aren’t going to find it anywhere else. And those escorts hustling then into the building aren’t there when they come out. We have to be mindful – no matter how infuriating we are – that our words could keep someone from seeking mercy and healing. Who will a postabortive woman turn to for help? A prolife person holding a sign of an aborted baby? It took my 20 some years to seek help or to even realize I needed it. We have to be there for others when they realize it and they will.

    • EBS

      Infinite Grace. I agree.

  • EBS

    The style of her writing style is. Short. Calculated. Cold. Hard. And. Factual.
    Which makes me think that this very controlled writing style is a mirror of her state of heart. I counseled for over 7 years and “statistics” tells us that a woman who has had an abortion usually feels the post-abortive grief 5 years later. Usually unable to suppress the guilt and grief longer than this.
    This woman was questioning 2 years, and I guarantee that if she didn’t “rationalize” her thinking to justify her actions, she would have hit that 5 year mark.
    Having said that, I am curious to see the events in her life up until now. To hear the true humanity behind her “choice”. Because if she faces up to herself, she will surely meet her true feelings about the killing of her child.
    Post Abortion Syndrome s cruel, awful and very very real. It affects every part of a woman and the hurt is horrific. It doesn’t escape the woman, and if suppressed manifests itself in other parts of a woman life in the most poisonous ways ie. Activism and justifying it as a legitimate part of society. It affects a woman’s mothering and ability to be a true partner to her husband.
    Everyone is hurt, and the sin of abortion is carried through generations.
    Just pray for this woman, and pray for the readers whose mind she s poisoning and seducing.
    The devil is clever and ever so alive. More so in the “cultured” of our society.
    The mind lies, but the heart doesn’t. It can only be suppressed for so long.

  • Abortion is bad, but is not murder, your post and other pro-life and pro-choice arguments inspired me to create a post about it in my blog.

    • S. Murphy

      Why’s it bad, then? It is murder – it’s just that you don’t look, don’t see, didn’t know the victim – plenty of cognitive loopholes; but no factual ones. Innocent human life, deliberately ended by human actions undertaken with intent and purpose to end that life = murder.