First of the Stations of the Double Cross Erected

The First Station of the Double Cross: The God King Kisses his Divine Consort

We adore you O Dear Leader and bless you, because by your Unholy Power, you have given us contraceptives, abortion, and gay marriage and forced the Catholics to pay for them.

Other planned liturgical pilgrimage sites include

The God King Stops the Oceans from Rising and Heals the Planet
The God King Sterilizes 15 Year Olds Without Parental Consent
The God King Secretly Kills Teenagers and then Ex Post Facto Declares Them Enemy Combatants
The God King Sings Al Green and Induces Orgasms in Adoring Fans

Suggestions are currently being taken for the other 10 Stations of the Double-Cross.

I lean toward some sort of commemoration of the Selection of Joe Biden as Veep to Make Him Look Like Einstein in Comparison, not to mention the Hiding of the Academic Records, the Dumping of Bin Laden, and the Assumption of Absolute Unilateral Power to Murder and Indefinitely Detain Anybody His Royal Majesty Pleases.  Also the Smashing of the Church will doubtless be celebrated.  Other achievements have yet to assume final liturgical form.

  • Irenist

    Obama is no friend of the Church or the unborn, but isn’t this kind of thing pretty standard-issue American presidential kitsch?

    • Mark Shea

      Do we have Sacred Sites set aside of Dwight and Mamie’s First Kiss? Or any other President’s first kiss? Sorry, but I’m barfin’ at the hagiography.

      • Irenist

        Hmm. This might be the first “first kiss” kitsch, but POTUS kitsch is endless. I guess what I’m asking is, what makes this particularly “hagiographical,” instead of just touristy? To clarify: I’m not really defending the kitsch, I’m just trying to get a better sense of why you diagnose the Obama kitsch as so much worse and more God-King-y in this instance than the George Bush fighter pilot action figure or every presidential library ever. I mean, some of the stuff you’ve turned up is flabbergastingly flattering to Obama, but that seems to me to mark its producers as just sort of dorky and lame, more than anything serious. But you have a way of convincing me to rethink things. If you can explain to me what I’m missing here, I’d be grateful.

        • Mark Shea

          I think in this case it’s the cloying attempt to turn a personal moment into a moment of public veneration. The Bush Action figure moment was eyerolling, but it was done as a part of his office. Likewise, Presidential libraries are about collections of literature pertaining to the Prez’ public tenure as Prez. But this “first date” crap is about turning Obama the Man into a Dear Leader whose every private action is revelatory and worthy of praise by his adoring followers. It reminds me of the sort of bullshit they do with North Korean leaders. There is no Sacred Site devoted to any other Presidential First Kiss. This is hagiography, not normal public commemoration of a public figure doing his office.

          • Irenist

            That’s thought-provoking. My immediate mental response is to think of all the presidential boyhood homes that people tour. They don’t really have anything to do with the performance of the presidential office, either.
            BTW: I really hope I’m not being needlessly argumentative. When I disagree with you on something, I usually think that I’m missing something, rather than that you’re wrong. If you’re right about this, it’s kind of a big deal as a cultural symptom, so if you can distinguish this from the “boyhood home” type stuff and show me what I’m missing, I’d appreciate it. (Of course, you’re a busy guy, and if you don’t reply, I’m not going to get mad or anything. But I do remain eager to be shown the error of my ways here. Thanks!)

            • Mark Shea

              You’ve got a point about the boyhood home stuff, but there’s a different quality to it too. “Here’s where President X comes from” and a few biographical facts (typically after retirement or death) is what is normal. This plaquification of the love life of a sitting President feels different. Normally there’s some mention of “he met and courted so and so” in the biography. But you don’t typically get Sacred Sites like this. Anyway, not a big deal but seems “off” to me.

              • Irenist

                Yeah, seems off to me, too, at least in tone. Thanks very much for engaging me on this. I’ll have to mull it over some more.

              • Rachel K

                I think part of it might be that the Obamas’ relationship is, for whatever reason, treated like Unbelievable and Unimaginable True Lurv the Likes of Which Mere Mortals Can Never Dream. It’s been there from the start, for reasons that have never been clear to me.

                • Andy, Bad Person

                  It’s been there from the start, for reasons that have never been clear to me.

                  It’s been clear to me. From day one, before Obama did a single thing, the media has been setting up his White House as The New Camelot. They want his relationship to be legendary and for people to talk about it as a pop culture thing like JFK.

                  • Irenist

                    Ah, so they were. I bet they thought that would sell a lot of beer and shampoo. Public never really went for it, though. Or at least, not the white public. Maybe the black specialty press (“Ebony,” etc.) has had some success with it; not my usual reading matter. The media must’ve been real disappointed that Camelot II didn’t pan out for them.

          • Joseph H. M. Ortiz

            Though I seldom think in hypothetical terms, I can’t help thinking that if I were a POTUS, I would protest, and if necessary fight legally, such a plaque about something so personal, from a sense of self-respect and of respect for my first lady.


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