Please join me in my struggle with John C. Wright

So, a couple of days ago, my son sent me a link to one of the greatest headlines of all time:

“Buddhist ‘Iron Man’ Found by Nazis Is From Space”

I naturally thought immediately of John C. Wright and so sent him the link saying:

If you want to comment on this, the greatest headline of the year, on your blog, I for one pant in anticipation as the deer panteth after the running stream.

Perhaps due to preoccupation with his duties as co-founder of exclusive Wright/Shea Mutual Admiration Society, he has so far failed to make my dreams and (I think I can say without fear of contradiction) the dreams of all mankind come true.

He has, it is true, offered a brief discourse on the invaluable word “Borborygmus“, but this only sharpens the pang of loss at what might be, but is not yet.

So I would like to invite whoever wishes to put on your best Bambi eyes and plead with John to do justice to that awesome headline.

Me: I’m squirreling it away for possible future use in a story I’ve been mulling over for several years. John knows about this: I greatly fear he is trying to use this refusal to comply with my Bambi Eyes pleading as a punishment/bribe to get me off my duff and started on the story. Dirty pool.

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  • Ted Seeber

    The article gives the possibly theologically mundane answer: A chunk of iron fell in a meteorite and a Buddhist artist carved it into a God.

    Not much different than the locally-to-me Yamhill Kalapuya worshiping the Willamette Meteorite (which white man later stole).

    • Mark Shea

      Sure. If you believe the *official* story. But I think the human imagination can do much better than that.

      • Here’s the deal, fellow travelers: Nazi ideology was transmitted to them by the Nordic aliens, who as we all know are the masters lording over the ubiquitous Grays, and are the sworn enemies of the Reptilians. (If you doubt me you should listen to more Coast to Coast.) It is quite clear the Nordics made an earlier, failed attempt to inculcate their racialist ideology on the Indian subcontinent, as evidenced by the swastikas in their artwork and the long-standing Germanic interest in the Indian subcontinent. That, friends, is a subconscious resonance. Now, this particular space rock/statue/Nordic alien monolith is of particular interest to the Nazis because it resonated in their minds in the exact same manner, indeed, Nordic space monoliths like this were precisely the source of the aforementioned subconscious resonance. Yes, you read that correctly. Nazis were being led back to India by mind-controlling space rocks that were nonchalantly carved into Buddhas by those not psychically attuned to their particular frequencies. Why? To recover ancient alien technology left deep within the Earth through a hatch only accessible at the coordinates transmitted by the statue. Absolutely factual, all of this. (Except the parts I made up.)

  • Please, Mark, you cannot hurry genius!

    On the other hand, I’d love to read your story. . .

  • Margaret

    I’m torn. I’d love to read some Mark Shea fiction. But this also sounds like Tim Powers bait, frankly, and he’d spin it into a full-length novel, while I’m guessing yours, Mark, would be shorter…

    • I, too, would love to read some Mark Shea fiction. Preferably with aliens, space ships, and Nazis.

      • Margaret

        And zombies. But definitely no vampires.

        • Depends on whether the vampires sparkle.

        • English Catholic

          margaret, this Lord of the Night is hurt by your comments, the best kept secret in the world is that most Vampires are Catholics, abstain totally from human blood and spend their nights before the Blessed Sacrament, they then go to the earliest Mass possible before scurrying back to our mannor houses to sleep through the day.

          Whats more in ages past the majority of choir Monks/Nuns were Vampires, thats why the Benedictines family have an obsession with praying Matins at two in the morning 🙂

  • TheRealAaron

    From the article: “If the Iron Man is in fact carved from a remnant of the Chinga, it will be the only rock from outside Earth’s atmosphere that has been carved into a human figure.”

    Let’s send it back and freak out the aliens!

    • +1

      also, it’s stupid comments like that from the article that make me want to acquire a piece of space rock and get a sculptor friend to carve it into a human figure.