Christmas Ideas for the Passive-Aggressive Parent

The invaluable and hilarious Simcha Fisher runs across this amazing brain fart from the Crap for Christmas Machine that is American industry:

6.  Are you mad at your kids?  Do you want to get them something really awful for Christmas?  Well, you might want to consider this:

It’s the See It Happen Composting Kit.  I should just charge $34.95 for people to come to my house and hang out with Benny in a Low Spot.  “See it happen” indeed.

What child *wouldn’t* want to experience the Christmas wonder of a cheap plastic box with something slowly rotting inside it?

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  • Nick R

    Meh, today’s kids would just watch that on youtube instead:
    Decomposition is wasted on the young.

    • Bob

      If there were a “like” button here, I would like that comment. Slow processes are the ultimate in the intangibility of creation.

    • I laughed at the post, but your comment knocked me over. You’re so right.

  • ivan_the_mad

    Then again, it could be a good lesson in the futility of owning things and of our own mortality 😀 Memento mori etc.

  • Lukas

    Reminds me of Saki’s short story, “The Toys of Peace.”

  • Andy, Bad Person

    Sometimes I try to imagine what the photo shoot for advertising pics were really like.

    “Okay, now try to look really excited about watching that crap break down. Good! Just like that!”

    • My guess is, when the picture was taken in 1997, she was watching a brownie cook in an Easy-Bake Oven.

      • Andy, Bad Person

        Ooh, I like where your head is. Now I’ll try to picture what else she could really be looking at. Maybe there’s a small animal trapped in that bin, and she’s grinning sadistically.

  • Alexis C.

    Is it weird that my oldest would TOTALLY love that (he’s 5)? He delights in talking about things decaying and even sometimes draws pictures — “Mom, look at this picture of a pumpkin! It’s DECAYED!!!”