Hans Grapje was raised in a Catholic school in The Hague and, as a young man, aspired to become a priest, but was drafted into the Army during WWII and spent two years co-piloting B17s until his aircraft was shot down in 1943 and he lost his left arm.
Captain Grapje spent the rest of the war as a chaplain, giving spiritual aid to soldiers, both Allied and enemy.

After the war, he became a priest, serving as a missionary in Africa, piloting his own plane (in spite of his handicap) to villages across the continent.

In 1997, Father Grapje was serving in Zimbabwe when an explosion in a silver mine caused a cave-in. The now Archbishop Grapje went down into the mine to administer last rights to those too severely injured to move. Another shaft collapsed, and he was buried for three days, suffering multiple injuries, including the loss of his right eye. The high silver content in the mine�s air gave him purpura, a life-long condition characterized by purplish skin blotches.

Although Cardinal Grapje devoted his life to the service of God as a scholar, mentor, and holy man, church leaders agree: he will never ascend to the Papacy. No one wants a One-Eyed, One-Armed, Flying Purple Papal Leader.

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  • Wow

  • James H, London

    All that, for this??


    • I had the same reaction to an Isaac Asimov story once that was nearly four times as long- all for the very sad pun of “Give my Big Hearts to Maude, Dwayne, Remember me to Harold’s Choir. Tell all the Foys on Sortibackenstrete that I will soon be there”.

  • wlinden

    And now you will be barred from the sacraments until you have done due and proper punance.

  • Sherry

    Oh….you should be.

  • Dan Li

    Ow. That was… painful -_-

  • Rebecca Fuentes

    Groan. I really must send that to my relatives.

  • cececole

    Groaner of the Highest Magnitude………oh, and I bought it hook, link and sinker right to the punchline.

  • kmk

    I had managed to get that song completely out of my head for at least 3 decades. Thanks a bunch of grajpes!

  • jaybird1951

    Does a pun that bad qualify for the one unforgivable sin?