Whoever Dreamed This Up Should be Instantly Fired

From deep within the Empire of Fear that America has evolved into comes this piece of administrative genius in the secular school system:

Teachers were shocked and caught off guard when an Oregon school held a school shooting drill.

The Oregonian reports Pine Eagle Charter School in Halfway held the drill last Friday as children were home for an in-service day. Two masked “gunmen” burst into a meeting room holding 15 teachers firing blanks.

Happily, nobody in the room was carrying a concealed weapon and did not blow away the two idiots who agreed to do this.  But whoever planned and executed this Michael Scott-magnitude act of stupidity needs a new job as a janitor where he or she can do no further harm.  Can you imagine having that person in charge of seeing that your child is educated?

Have I mentioned that we homeschool?

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  • Barfly_Kokhba

    “Oh Arthur, you’re not going crazy, you’re going sane in a crazy world.” -The Tick

    The money quote was from one of the staff who was asked how many teachers would have survived if it had been real. “Not many,” he said.

    For the life of me I cannot think of what the point of this might have been, except for some bored educators in rural Oregon to have a lot of really hilarious fun. When I saw the story I had to check to make sure that it was the first of May and not April 1st.

  • Larry

    What are you trying to say about janitors? You consider me a loser?

    • chezami

      Not at all. I consider you as St. Joseph. Best of all, you use the work God has given you to do good, not to cook up idiotic exercises of irresponsible power. You’d be a fine teacher to this foolish person, who needs to learn from a good man like you and not from whatever knucklehead taught them to pull stunts like this.

  • Jason C.

    Before the Columbine massacre, we football players were watching game film in a darkened football locker room early in the morning, half-asleep, when a coach burst in with a blank pistol (used to start races in track) firing like crazy and screaming. Dudes were running and falling all over each other until we realized it was Coach. It was scary-larious.

  • kencrawsailor .

    Geez, I hope that these same idiots aren’t in charge of fire drills. They might start pouring gasoline all over the place and pull out a match to make it more realistic.

  • Very simple – all they had to do was let everyone know in advance that it’s a drill.

  • entonces_99

    I believe that, legally speaking, the “gunmen” are guilty of assault. If they aren’t prosecuted, they should be sued civilly.

    • Nice try. Employees of the School Board get de facto sovereign immunity. You can’t sue them for anything they do in the course of discharging their duties, no matter how unspeakably stupid or criminal.

  • Martial_Artist


    I don’t know about making them janitors. To be a janitor you have to have some modicum of good sense and the ability to make minor repairs to your equipment. These folks sound a bit, ho should I say it, underqualified?

    Keith Töpfer

  • $16275642

    Ya know, janitors could do an awful lot of harm if they really wanted to. Nobody sees them; they can go into any area of the building; they can carry around objects and chemicals that no one else messes with … lotsa potential harm there. And most of them have philosophy doctorates, so they can put a coherent thought together.

  • iamlucky13

    I believe the law in Oregon is basically the same as here in Washington – a concealed carry permit holder can only bring their firearm onto school grounds while picking up or dropping off a student. For any other activity, such as a teacher meeting like this, firearms have to be unloaded, out-of-sight, and locked in a private vehicle.

    So in theory, no one present should have been armed, although you never know if someone might have decided they are going to carry despite the law.

    Regardless, that level of fright was a rotten thing to foist on these teachers, and injuries could have easily resulted in other ways – heart problems, falling while trying to flee, or trying fight back against the “attackers” despite being unarmed. If one of the teachers had enough wits about them to grab a chair and beat the attackers with it, they might honestly not have realized they were shooting blanks until they were seriously injured, or worse.