The Thing that Used to be Episcopalianism…

…has successfully reached that point when it is now impossible to tell the difference between satire and reality:

New Book Highlights “Systematic Oppression, Degradation” Of Women In Bible

Washington, DC––Fresh off her groundbreaking sermon denouncing “the misogynist St. Paul” for depriving the demoniac girl of her spiritual gifts in Acts 16:16, Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church Reverend Katharine Jefferts Schori has published another landmark piece of scriptural exegesis. In a new set of essays entitled The Great Amend, Schori highlights the systematic oppression, degradation, and misunderstanding of women throughout Holy Scripture. Prominent examples include Delilah, long viewed as a villain, actually a sexually-liberated freedom-fighter; Jezebel, a trailblazing political leader and forerunner to such modern figures as Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi; and Eve, an independent, free-thinking woman who was ostracized by the all-male establishment because of her dietary preferences. “By far the most egregious example of the oppressive patriarchy within the Bible,” Jefferts Schori observes, “is a particular teenage girl, about three-quarters of the way through the book, who is forced to consent to an unwanted pregnancy. Any fair and just society would have provided her access to proper reproductive services — including safe, legal, state-subsidized abortion.”

The good news is: It’s (mostly) satire (except for the bit about demon possession being hailed as spiritual diversity by Schori.

The bad news is: I had to tell you it’s satire.

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  • Charles Sommer

    You’re right. You had me going until the very end. I thought it was real! Thanks for the heart attack this morning over stupidity.

  • Too funny! I did believe it as I was reading.

  • Jordan

    Best one: “…Eve, an independent, free-thinking woman who was ostracized by the all-male establishment because of her dietary preferences.”

  • Zach Frey

    Johnson’s Iron Law – every joke about the Episcopal Church eventually becomes reality.

    I did smile at the connection between Jezebel and Hillary Clinton/Nancy Pelosi, though.