This year’s model: Jesus the Married Guy as the NY Times reports that the “Gospel of Jesus’ Wife” is truly ancient!
A droll reader adds:
In other news, scholars have discovered a previously suppressed encyclical in which Pope Pius XII, taking time out from his wartime obsession with dispatching railcars of Italian Jews to Germany, made repeated references to the “Bride of Christ.” Evidence mounts that albino monks and some other weird characters in Paris really are behind the denial of ordination to women.
Refresher for newbies to this: Every Christmas and Easter, the media go looking for the Latest Real Jesus. When he is discovered (as he always is), he will in the end, tell you lots about the obsessions of the people searching for him (like, f’instance, “SEX LIVES OF THE FAMOUS!!!!”). Why, it’s *almost* as if his face is a perfect reflection of theirs or something. Yet curiously, he will tell you nothing new or true about the actual Jesus of history because that Jesus is the one the Church has always proclaimed. Accept no substitutes.