Man marries pillow.
How do they know the pillow was consenting and not coerced?
A pillowphobe! Repent from your sins of bigotry and intolerance! Who cares about your question? Marriage isn’t about thinking about things, it is about luuuuuv!
You depraved pillowphile. Repent of your desire for the cushy softness of down.
somebody to lay your head on.
Reminds me of a wagon full of pancakes.
Stop your horrible discrimination against the hypoallergenic.
I’d like to be married to my pillow, too, but the darn alarm clock keeps coming between us!