“Dear Dark Lord” people often write me…

(providing me both clonable DNA from the spit on their envelope flaps *and* with enough address information for my ninjas to hunt them down like dogs and kill them when my clones are ready to replace them–but I digress), “what does your Dark Tower look like as it stands lonely vigil and rears itself above the mystic fogs of your Cursed Realm?”

Funny you should ask! Here’s a purty little picture of the ol DT ratcheer!:

Note Mount Doom in the background (behind the ruins of the Dead City of Minas Morgul).  I need to toddle over to the Sammath Naur and stoke those subterranean fires.  It’s about time I wiped Tacoma (or “Pompeii by the Sound” as I like to call it) off the map, just to show a frightened world I mean business.

PEOPLE OF EARTH!: I can do this all day and not even get tired
People of Earth!
Melting Ice Caps Expose Hundreds of Secret Arctic Lairs
We Dark Lords Find This Kind of Thing Deeply Inspiring

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