“Dear Dark Lord” people often write me…

(providing me both clonable DNA from the spit on their envelope flaps *and* with enough address information for my ninjas to hunt them down like dogs and kill them when my clones are ready to replace them–but I digress), “what does your Dark Tower look like as it stands lonely vigil and rears itself above the mystic fogs of your Cursed Realm?”

Funny you should ask! Here’s a purty little picture of the ol DT ratcheer!:

Note Mount Doom in the background (behind the ruins of the Dead City of Minas Morgul).  I need to toddle over to the Sammath Naur and stoke those subterranean fires.  It’s about time I wiped Tacoma (or “Pompeii by the Sound” as I like to call it) off the map, just to show a frightened world I mean business.

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People of Earth!
An aspiring Dark Lordette writes:
Melting Ice Caps Expose Hundreds of Secret Arctic Lairs
We Dark Lords Find This Kind of Thing Deeply Inspiring
  • Rebecca Fuentes

    Well, okay, but can you spare Stellacoom?

  • MitchellJ

    Will Tacoma smell worse before or after the pyroclastic flows and valcanic sulfur overtake it?

    • http://ontheotherfoot.blogspot.com/ Joel

      Worse would take some doing.

    • Rebecca Fuentes

      It will probably improve traffic flow.

  • Mark S. (not for Shea)

    I used to live near Tacoma. No one will miss it.

  • bob

    When the pyroclastic river of fire descends from Mt Ranier, it comforts me to consider how quickly Enumclaw will be a smooth plain. What’s left will nicely deal with Tacoma; a geological twofer.

  • She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named

    Just be careful that you make sure that your wand doesn’t share its core material with another wand belonging to the mayor of Tacoma or else you may give him a lightning shaped scar and cause your wave of destruction to rebound back onto yourself. A messy business indeed. 😉