Now that the Blood Moon is past and the End of Days is here…

…I can’t wait for the shot of Bishop Robert Barron, standing shirtless atop a heap of vampire and zombie corpses, a shotgun slung over his back, with a crucifix in one robotic hand and a stake in the other a la Bruce Campbell.

If Joss Whedon is any kind of authority on such matters (and I think we can all agree he is) Southern California has been in need of a cleaning for quite some time. But a Bishop, prowling the streets in search of undead prey each night, is bound to raise some questions for the faithful and perhaps even provoke hostility from the Undead-American community.

So I think we are way past due for a carefully elucidated Theology of Slaying on Youtube from the good Bishop, explaining his actions, showing the reasons why he had his left arm replaced with a interchangable chain saw/robotic arm array, and inviting the lay faithful to take up the work of vampire slaying and putting zombies to their final rest.

We have the holy water, crucifixes and blessed salts. It’s time we used them in the way the movies have always intended we do.