All is Illuminated!

A combox reader gets on the CNN Bandwagon of Infallible Evolutionary SCIENCE!:

RELIGION AS PARANOIA: A DARWINIAN EVOLUTIONARY THESIS

SETTING: Back in Ye Olde Evolutionary Times*, Reproductive Competitors Bob and Joe forage for food…

-rustling sound-

Joe: “Hey, Bob; did you hear that? That noise is probably caused by an Unmoved Mover or Supreme Being* moving through the garden in the cool of the day; we’d better run for it!”

Bob: “Nah, Joe, the calculable odds are that its a harmless small mammal. Come help me use this tool to dig out nutritious ginkgo root–Aaaaarrgh!”

-Bob dies-

Joe: “Yay! Now I get to mate with all the pretty girls!”*

AND THUS, RELIGION BECAME A DOMINANT TRAIT IN THE HUMAN SPECIES.*

*Note: With more funding, I could come up with a cool acronym for this.

*Note: Equivalent in modern language is Flying Spaghetti Monster.

*Note: With more funding, I could figure out the names of these girls. And get pictures of them.

*Note: Please fund me.