As all things are buddha-dharma, there is delusion and realization, practice, and birth and death, and there are buddhas and sentient beings.
As the myriad things are without an abiding self, there is no delusion, no realization, no buddha, no sentient being, no birth and death.
The buddha way is, basically, leaping clear of the many of the one; thus there are birth and death, delusion and realization, sentient beings and buddhas.
Yet in attachment blossoms fall, and in aversion weeds spread.
To carry yourself forward and experience myriad things is delusion. That myriad things come forth and experience themselves is awakening.
Those who have great realization of delusion are buddhas; those who are greatly deluded about realization are sentient beings. Further, there are those who continue realizing beyond realization, who are in delusion throughout delusion.
When buddhas are truly buddhas they do not necessarily notice that they are buddhas. However, they are actualized buddhas, who go on actualizing buddhas.
When you see forms or hear sounds fully engaging body-and-mind, you grasp things directly. Unlike things and their reflections in the mirror, and unlike the moon and its reflection in the water, when one side is illumined the other side is dark.
To study the buddha way is to study the self. To study the self is to forget the self. To forget the self is to be actualized by myriad things. When actualized by myriad things, your body and mind as well as the bodies and minds of others drop away. No trace of realization remains, and this no-trace continues endlessly.
Dogen Kigen, Genjokoan
When Jan, Chris and I arrived at Alyson’s Orchard I was once again struck at its beauty. The orchard which we’ve used for many of our Zen retreats in past years sits comfortably atop a hill and commands spectacular New Hampshire views. Also, while the sleeping facilities are not quite up to our current size, currently registering nearly fifty people, the hall which we convert into our Zendo, the meditation hall, is perfect for the purposes of Zen practice. And, we’ve been there any number of times. So, knowing with the purchase of the temple in Worcester, there was a very good chance this will be the last time we use this facility brought with that knowing its own poignancy…
We also immediately ran into what happens when you’re a renter. We couldn’t even get the full seven days we wanted and in order to maximize the time we could devote to our formal practice were beginning in the morning rather the evening before. Laura Wallace, our tanto, the practice leader, had put together a graceful combination of setting up and sitting schedule which, worked well…
Soon we were launched into the rhythms of a Boundless Way sesshin. Sitting, more sitting, a little bit more sitting on top of that. And for dessert some sitting. As dokusan is a central part of our practice those rhythms wove into the sitting periods throughout the day. In mid morning we celebrated liturgy, and for the first time introduced the doshi position as part of the service allowing the formal Soto Zen liturgical practice of Eko or “transference of merit.” I felt it folded into our discipline sweetly…
Three people took jukai, embracing the discipline of the Bodhisattva precepts as a touchstone to their lives and we were all given a chance to recall and reengage the deep way of relationship for ourselves…
Paul Lynch, a teacher in master Seung Sahn’s lineage, although not part of the Kwan Um School, was a guest teacher with us. His robes and rather different style brought me, at least, to feel the range and differences within our way. He is a quick learner, and except for very small stylistic flourishes (and robes), quickly folded into our community’s style. We asked him to give the fourth day Dharma talk and one would have thought he had been with us for much more than four days…
We also continued the practice of having brief “encouragement talks” at the beginning of the evening sitting block. In addition to our own senior Dharma teachers Josh Bartok and Jan Seymour-Ford, two old hands from other traditions were willing to step up and speak to our practice.
We began with the family, Josh taking the first evening, Jan the second. For me, knowing them for years, it was such a treat hearing their words, spoken with clarity and heart. It is obvious Josh is so close to becoming a formal teacher and how he is already a teacher for us. And with Jan, it is sometimes hard to really see one’s own spouse within the day in and day out. But here as she took the seat and spoke I realized why my fellow teachers had named her one of our senior Dharma teachers. I felt the grace of the Zen way flow with her words…
Then the next night Jay Weik spoke. Jay is an old Zen hand who has studied in the White Plum lineage for many years. Together with his spouse Karen he guides the independent Toledo Zen Center. This year Jay formally asked to study with me and we’re beginning the conversation to see how there can be an alignment with the Boundless Way for a group so far from New England. But whatever those issues might be what was so obvious in his presentation was how his practice was completely aligned with ours. And I felt comforted, challenged and encouraged by his words.
Our fourth night speaker was Charles Pokorny, a Soto priest in Shunryu Suzuki’s lineage who is an old friend of our community and who has sat several sesshin with us with us with the permission of his teacher Roshi Reb Anderson. Our practice is, as I see it, a bit rough around the edges. We do not have that monastic style training which is the traditional course for Zen practice, relying instead on the Harada Yasutani koan curriculum and that “koanic” engagement for our shikantaza practice as well to provide the focus which allows us to go deep. And I have to admit having seen too many people who have not been particularly successful with the monastic or perhaps as it does not include celibacy, the semi-monastic discipline, I can on occasion be dismissive of its possibilities. Not, however, when Charlie is around.
The way we were sitting I couldn’t help but witness the way he engaged oriyoki, our formal meal practice. It seemed obvious he had many years ago learned the meticulous details of his school’s oriyoki. And somewhere along the line had forgotten it all. So everything seemed graceful and flowed from movement to silence to movement again. He demonstrated the just-this practice to which we’re all called in this way. And I felt over and over again so grateful. When Charlie took the seat and briefly encouraged our practice he alluded to how if we fall into our place then our bodies would sing hymns of praise in every direction. And watching him I heard the melody…
I don’t want to go through the whole list of officers, just too long. But old hands and new they threw themselves into supporting this practice. The food was great without its preparation taking over the meditation hall, a danger in many Zendos. Our ino, in our system, the chant leader has been empowering more people in the liturgical life and we could witness the wisdom of that decision. The jishas, the teacher’s attendants kept the communication between dokusan room and meditation hall seamless. The jiki, the time keeper manifested the nature of time for us and we were able to simply flow with the rhythms of clacker and bell.
Lovely, lovely.
And hard. My god this practice is hard. In addition to the drive to see both emptiness and form, the actual shape of form in my life was more than usually present. And I wasn’t overly enthusiastic about seeing much of it…
But that’s the discipline. Or a good part of it.
Once again we brought the way of engagement of a deep curiosity to every moment. Taught by the great masters Dogen and Hakuin we threw our whole lives into the project of awakening.
Lovely, lovely…
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