Format of this Blog

For the most part, I try to answer questions in the order they are received.  However, due to the volume of questions I receive, I am unable to answer all of them. What you can expect from the different titles on my blog:Direct Question: Question or comment that has either been posted on my blog or that I have come across through other avenues. FYI: Information and resources that I come across and think would be useful to my audience.I am signed up with google ads. Although many of these … [Read more...]

FYI: What are the primary complaints leading to divorce?

"Research shows that the primary complaints leading to divorce are not physical abuse or addiction but, rather, lack of communication, lack of affection and nagging (Hetherington, Cox, and Cox, 1981, p. 58)."Taken from Divorce Busting by Michele Weiner-Davis. … [Read more...]

I’m afraid to commit to working on this relationship when I don’t know if I want to stay.

I have been in therapy for most of the last several years. My therapist warned me when I started that therapy was likely to result in the end of my marriage. She doesn't tell me what I should do, but has continued to say that she thinks I probably will leave the marriage eventually if I recover. Neither of us thinks that I am ready to leave yet, although there were times when I thought that I was and she talked me out of it because I still need him.My husband is not a bad person. He's not … [Read more...]

I don’t want to break up my family. Is forcing myself to make this marriage work my only option?

Natasha, maybe you could help with my question. I'm an LDS woman, married for almost 19 years, with 3 children (youngest is 11, oldest is 17). I feel trapped because I was not ready or mature enough when I got married to know what I wanted, and I haven't ever been in love, or attracted to my husband. I went through the motions and did what I was taught that I was supposed to do, gave up on any goals that I had because I didn't have enough self-esteem to believe in them anyway, and lived in the … [Read more...]

After paying for a telephone consultation…

After paying for a telephone consultation please send me an email at and leave me the following:-a phone number where I can reach you-who I should ask for when I call-the best times to schedule a consultation-general topic you would like to discussAfter I receive your request, I will email you (usually within 48 hours) and we will schedule a time (central daily standard time). I will also send you two attachments consisting of basic information I need to gather … [Read more...]

My husband is gay. Am I crazy to think that our marriage can make it?

Full question:A few weeks ago, my husband sat me down and told me he is gay. We have both been on emotional roller coaster ever since. Am I crazy to think that our marriage can make it?My overriding answer to this question is YES, you can make it!! I don't mean to sound glib in my response for I am well aware that many couples in this situation choose to separate. This is a very personal and extremely difficult position for the two of you to be in. If you want to stay together, it will be … [Read more...]

Why donate?

Creating this blog has been a tremendously rewarding experience. The issues you've shared with me and your fellow visitors confirm all over again why I chose this profession. While the issues we discuss are always challenging and sometimes heartbreaking, I'm continually convinced that solutions exist to the relationship and individual problems we face. Sometimes the biggest step is simply the first one - sharing. Like each of my children, this blog is growing rapidly! I launched this blog 10 … [Read more...]


I am a female, I have masturbated at some point in my life...59 respondersand I believe that led to a problem with pornography. 6 (10%)and I believe that led to a problem with masturbation. 7 (11%)and I do not have a problem with pornography. 36 (61%)and I do no have a problem with masturbation. 34 (57%)If I am married, the frequency of masturbation greatly reduced after marriage. 24 (40%)If I am married, the frequency of masturbation stayed the same … [Read more...]

Most Recent Comments

THIS IS WHERE I WILL POST THE MOST RECENT COMMENTS I HAVE RECEIVED WITH LINKS TO THE ORIGINAL POSTS. HOWEVER, IT IS NOT WHERE I POST MY RESPONSES OR WHERE I POST ORIGINAL QUESTIONS. JUST BECAUSE I POST A COMMENT DOES NOT MEAN I AGREE WITH IT.COMMENT:This poster obviously lives in a black and white world, and appears to have never been in a position where they have had to deal with counseling numerous Church members about this issue.The Brethren are not about to address every circumstance and … [Read more...]

How do I post a message confidentially?

Click on "comments" under my most recent post. There will be an option under the text box where you can click on "anonymous". Your comment/question will then be posted anonymously for me to answer. You can also become an anonymous follower of the blog.My biggest concern is that members not reach out for help for fear that they will not be able to do so confidentially. I take confidentiality extremely seriously. I am aware that the LDS community in particular can be a small world.Once you … [Read more...]