How Husbands Can Show LOVE To Their Wives

Ephesians 5:33 says, “However, each one of you [husband] also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

In his book Love and Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs shares practical ways that husbands can show love to their wives. Buy his book for more ideas, but here are the highlights:

Closeness. She wants you to be close. Your wife feels close to you when . . .

• You hold her hand.
• You hug her.
• You are affectionate without sexual intentions.
• You are with her alone so you can focus on each other and laugh together.
• You go for a walk or jog . . . or anything that results in togetherness.
• You seek her out . . . set up a date night . . . eat by candlelight.
• You go out of your way to do something for her, like run an errand.
• You make it a priority to spend time with her.
• You are aware of her as a person with a mind and opinions . . . let her know you enjoy discussing things with her and getting her insights.
• You suggest the unexpected . . . get takeout and each on the beach . . . take a walk to see the full moon . . . park on the bluff and watch the sunset.
• You pillow talk after making love . . . lie close with your arm around her and share feelings and intimate ideas . . . and never turn on SportsCenter or Nightline.

Openness – She wants you to open up to her. Your wife feels you are open to her when . . .

• You share your feelings, telling about your day and difficulties.
• You say, “Let’s talk,” ask her what she’s feeling, and ask for her opinions.
• Your face shows you want to talk – relaxed body language, good eye contact.
• You take her for a walk to talk and reminisce about how you met or perhaps you talk about the kids and problems she may be having with them.
• You pray with her.
• You give her your full attention . . . no grunting responses while trying to watch tv, read the newspaper, or write e-mails.
• You discuss financial concerns, possible job changes, or ideas for your future.

Understanding – Don’t try to “fix” her; just listen. She’ll feel you’re trying to understand her when . . .

• You listen and can repeat back what she said.
• You don’t try to “fix her problems” unless she specifically asks for a solution.
• You try to identify her feelings.
• You never dismiss her feelings, no matter how illogical they may seem to you.
• You say, “I appreciate you sharing that with me.”
• You don’t interrupt her when she’s trying to tell you how she feels.
• You apologize and admit when you were wrong.
• You cut her some slack during her monthly cycle.
• You see something that needs to be done and you do it without a lot of hassle.
• You express appreciation for all she does: “Honey, I could never do your job.”
• You pray with her and for her.

Peacemaking – She wants you to say, “I’m sorry.” She’ll feel at peace with you when . . .

• You let her vent her frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.
• You admit you are wrong and apologize by saying, “I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?”
• You understand her natural desires to negotiate, compromise, and defer, and you meet her halfway.
• You try to keep your relationship “up-to-date,” resolving the unresolved and never saying, “Forget it.”
• You forgive her for any wrongs she confesses.
• You never nurse bitterness and always reassure her of your love.
• You pray with her after a hurtful time.

Loyalty – She needs to know you’re committed. She is assured of your loyalty when . . .

• You speak highly of her in front of others.
• You are involved in things important to her.
• You help her make decisions, such as ones regarding the children.
• You don’t correct her in front of the children.
• You don’t look lustfully at other women.
• You make her and your marriage a priority.
• You are never critical of her or your children in front of others.
• You include her in social gatherings when others may leave their spouses home.
• You tell the kids, “Don’t speak to your mother that way!”
• You call and let her know your plans.
• You keep commitments.
• You speak positively of her and the children at all times.

Esteem – She wants you to honor and cherish her. Your wife will feel esteemed when . . .

• You say, “I’m so proud the way you handled that.”
• You speak highly of her in front of others.
• You open the door for her.
• You try something new with her.
• You give her encouragement or praise with kindness and enthusiasm.
• You notice something different about her hair or clothes.
• You are physically affectionate with her in public.
• You teach the children to show her and others respect.
• You value her opinion in the gray areas as not wrong but just different – and valid.
• You choose family outings over “guy things.”
• You make her feel first in importance.
• You are proud of her and all she does.

Tomorrow I’ll share practical ways that wives can show respect to their husbands.