How To Kill 102 Minutes!

I watched the new release DVD Beowulf and Grendel. In a word, it SUCKED! I always give movies a chance and 99% of the time watch them right through to the end. I can’t remember the last time I stopped watching a movie. Oh yes, Domino! I don’t know how that movie ends, and frankly I don’t care. Back to Beowulf… it was totally unconvincing. I knew it was in trouble at the very beginning when the toddler-troll Grendel is put on the screen, glued-on beard and all. And the fearsome warriors riding on those tiny ponies was, bluntly, HILARIOUS! I laughed out loud every time they rode onto the screen. They should’ve had REAL horses, like of the Frank Frazetta variety. I felt that all one had to do was yell to the ponies, “PLAY DEAD!” and the war would be over. I was waiting for the end-credits to say, “All the horses were harmed during the filming of this movie. They were crushed under the weight of their riders!” How can you be afraid of these guys?

Okay, a couple of good things: Sarah Polley is beautiful. Extra: she has an incredible singing voice. Hear her sing on the the beautiful soundtrack to The Sweet Hereafter, especially her version of The Tragically Hip’s, “Courage”. And it was filmed in Iceland, which is absolutely gorgeous. I’ve been there twice, and the landscape is spiritually impressive.

But, in my opinion, don’t bother wasting your time with the movie. Watch Junebug instead… a more superior, disturbing and incisive study of human nature.