It is important to create an atmosphere of honesty, confession and repentance for a community to be healthy. My experience and the experience of many is that even though repentance is encouraged, it is at the same time discouraged because of the possible repercussions that follow.
We have a choice: either encourage honesty and live compassionately in the midst of that; or encourage pretense and live severely in the midst of that. I see no other options. If you choose the first one, guaranteed things will be messy but genuine. If you choose the last one guaranteed things will be tidy but superficial.Until I become honest with and accepting of myself, I can never become honest with or accepting of others. This is why we must start with ourselves in order to create this community of authenticity, where there is love without fear.