Jesus really wanted to be a girl

jesus really wanted to be a girl cartoon by nakedpastor david hayward
(Click on image to email David if interested in originals or prints.)

Women, the abused, people of the LGBTQ community, questioners and doubters… these marginalized people are my people. This is who I draw and write about and for. I’ve been doing it for years. However, I’m still amazed at how quickly some people will rush in to try to provide balance to what I say but actually expose themselves as defenders of the perpetrators and perhaps even as perpetrators themselves.

You speak up for women and someone will quickly add, “There are women who oppress men too!” You speak up for the spiritually abuse and someone will quickly add, “The poor churches are under so much pressure.” You speak up for the LGBTQ community, and someone will quickly add, “You can’t expect the church to change overnight!” You speak up for the questioners and doubters, and someone will quickly add, “Why can’t they just find a more liberal church where they’re happy?”

Actually, what really gets me is when you speak up for the marginalized, and the general response from some is something like, “Why did they invite that kind of treatment?” I’m beginning to wonder if human beings can’t help blaming the victims of this world.

Even yesterday in my tribute post to Roger Ebert who passed away yesterday, I mentioned Christopher Hitchens because Ebert used one of my cartoons in a Chicago Sun Times article about Hitchens. I was alarmed at the nasty things Christians were saying about Hitchens, such as they were glad God was taking him out and that he would burn in Hell, etcetera. Even then people reacted by saying such things as, “Well Hitchens said some pretty nasty things to Christians, so he deserved it.” Or, “When you make public statements like Hitchens did you have to expect to get that kind of treatment.” Or, “Sure he got that kind of treatment, but it wasn’t from every Christian, just some, so stop blaming Christians for the cruelty he received.” On and on and on.

Some people just don’t get it. There is such a thing as a victim mentality. Sure. But I believe there is also a victimization mentality. And it seems that many Christians are good at it.

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  • “Don’t blame us for what other Christians say and do!” sounds an awful lot like, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” Most of us know how well THAT line went over with the higher powers.

  • Pat

    I LOVE this cartoon 😀

  • Patty

    Love this! Too often I read on religious news sites: “You’re not a real Catholic if you don’t believe X, Y and Z” or worse yet, the myriad of horrendous remarks about LGBT people, all made with the assurance of the name of God. But what if God is practically shouting at us, throwing all sorts of opportunities our way to go out of our comfort zones and preconceived notions, and just be loving starting with the marginalized?

  • Carol

    The problem is that *victims* have a tendency to pass on the pain and cruelty that they have expereinced in the hope that will restory their power. So there is really no clear division between the victim and the victimization mentality.

    That is why power is so corrupting. Apart from integrity of character, whether one is the victim or the victimizer depends mostly on circumstances. And I believe that characterdevelopment depends on our cooperation with Grace. Whether that cooperation comes from a purely intuitive or a theologically informed intuitve faith is of little importance.

    Christianity in the Latin/Western churches is the only religion where orthodoxy is valued over orthopraxy. Even Scripture teaches that Christians are to be known by their deeds/fruits of the Spirit.

    “Like all sacred art, legends are for the feeling; and it is more important to feel what one knows—even if it is only one thing—than to know with the head alone a mass of theories and facts. When modern people assume that we have made so much progress over ancient or nonindustrialized cultures, they forget this point. It is far, far better to understand a central truth with the whole of oneself than it is to know many things only with the mind. When one knows only with the mind, and the feelings are not integrated into the knowing, then the knowledge one has becomes harmful. Technology without ethics is the result of having knowledge without developing the instrument of ethical perception, the feelings. As it was said long ago, ‘The mind is for seeing what is true; the feelings are for understanding what is good.’” –Jacob Needleman, Money and the Meaning of Life

    “Orthodoxy, or right opinion, is, at best, a very slender part of religion. Though right tempers cannot subsist without right opinions, yet right opinions may subsist without right tempers. There may be a right opinion of God without either love or one right temper toward Him. Satan is a proof of this.” –John Wesley

    “Plenty of kind, decent, caring people have no religious beliefs, and they act out of the goodness of their hearts. Conversely, plenty of people who profess to be religious, even those who worship regularly, show no particular interest in the world beyond themselves. -John Danforth, priest, ambassador, senator

  • Christians are NO better or NO worse than anybody else.

    We are ALL beggars.

    Christians just happen to know where the Bread line is.

  • Carol

    Old Adam, being a follower of Jesus is no guarantee of “knowing” anything with absolute certainty, since that would require omniscience which is a Divine, not a human, attribute.

    The Disciples were mostly “clueless” until receiving the Spirit at Pentecoste and even then, St. Paul had to correct St. Peter for pandering to the demands of the legalistic Judaizers.

    Virtually all of the mature Christians that I have met are agnostic about most of the things that cultural and immature Christians are ABSOLUTELY certain are true.

    Christians may know where the *Bread* is, but when it comes to finding the *bread line* they seem to be as confused as everyone else. That is why there are all those different sectarian *Christian* denominations.

  • Annie

    Sorry, nothing deep or spiritual to say … I just wanted to say how much the Holy Ghost in this pic made me laugh! Brilliant cartoon! 😀

  • yes a lot of people like my holy spirit 🙂

  • ccws

    Your “Holy Ghost” always cracks me up too! 😀 😀 😀

  • That is actually David H., under that sheet 😀

  • Magnus Magnusson

    I wish we all were under that sheet…
    magnus – from Sweden

  • ccws

    Carol said: “Virtually all of the mature Christians that I have met are agnostic about most of the things that cultural and immature Christians are ABSOLUTELY certain are true.”

    For much of my life I’ve called myself a “Christian Agnostic,” which has led to all sorts of misunderstandings and harangues. Now I just say I’m a “Heretic” and leave it at that.

  • Kris

    There is a woman by the name of Brene Brown who talks about vulnerability and one thing she said that stuck with me is “Faith minus uncertainty equals extremism.” The more I think about it, the more she is right. We talk about mystery, yet we make statement like we know the mysterty…that is a oxymoron. The point of mystery is to not have a complete understanding of it. That is what keeps me questioning and engaged in faith. If I knew everything, why would I need faith?

  • jg

    I said almost the exact same thing in a paper written during my seminary years. Here’s the notes I saved dated 2005–‘God had to become incarnated as a man because of our human weakness. We refuse to recognize the fact that God can take many forms and that the divine presence can be found in many ways. Therefore, we limit the method that God can choose to interact with us. In the case of Jesus, God could not have incarnated as a woman—who in that time, or this time to be truthful, would have listened to a woman messiah? Women were on the lowest rung of society. They had almost no rights and were not allowed to hold positions in the Jewish religion or in the government. They would have completely dismissed her out of hand. Human weakness, human sin, limited God’s options then, and it still does today.’

  • Ha! I thought this was brilliant even before I caught that that’s the HS to the right of the Father, rather than a doorway.

  • mlcyclist

    Excellent cartoon! Also excellent thoughts and comments. How many times have I heard about folks on welfare that they “just need to get a job and make something of themselves”. “Christian Agnostic”, I like that and can identify with it though I would hesitate to call myself a mature Christian. I can definitely see where its better just to call myself a heretic which is true when I compare my beliefs to what I was brought up with.

  • Love it!

  • um… If I recall correctly, God never answered the question, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” Right?

  • I agree with Carol when she writes, “The problem is that *victims* have a tendency to pass on the pain and cruelty that they have expereinced in the hope that will restory their power.” If the victim “passes the buck” to the offender (or to another individual), then they are committing a sin themselves and so, I would have to then look at whether or not I should then defend the offender (to sound slightly oxymoronic).

    If the response to sin is to create more sin, then we only escalate the problem further until it blows out of proportion; this has been how wars begin and innocent people suffer horribly. The victim needs to be aware of appropriate responses to the sin committed on them by others and how such responses can cause a longer-lasting punishment on the offender in order for the offender to “learn their lesson” without causing any harm. It’s more about “killing with kindness” rather than simply assuming the victim is not an offender also.

  • Carol

    India, taken in context that question was more of an answer than a question.

  • Justin H… your response makes me feel the need to respond to you. You said, “The victim needs to be aware of appropriate responses to the sin committed on them by others…” Why is it that the victim needs to be aware? This is what upsets me. Is it just because of the cruel world we live in?

  • Kris

    If the victim were aware, they would not be a victim….if you have never been in a situation you might not know how to respond. Maybe the abuser has something on them that forces them to comply, maybe the person needs to continue to work the abuser to continue feeding his or her family, maybe they are being threatened. Children who are victims are completely powerless. Any one can be a victim and the only way to make people aware is to point out when it does happen so that maybe there will be fewer victims.

    My parents were victims of discrimination. They would not be served in restaurants and were harassed by police for being an interracial couple. What should their appropriate response to the sin being committed to them be for others racism? Do they simply not go out to eat or never cross a cop’s path? I guess they could’ve lived in a box. Let’s talk about how abusers should not abuse.

  • Carol


    Of course, we need to talk about how abusers should not abuse. But we should also be aware that we have all been unintentional abusers at times. Abuse is the misuse of power. My mother drilled into me the harsh truth that, if we ask someone to do for us what can do for ourselves, we are taking advantage of them. That may be a mild form of abuse, but imposing on another’s “goodwill” is often “passive aggression.” Getting “served” by others by either coercion or manipulation is a misuse of “power.” To muddy the waters even more, serving others with the intent to obligate them, is also “passive” abuse.

    There is no single principle for responding to abuse. As you have correctly noted, there may be reasons why a person has to remain, for a time, in an abusive relationship. I know of many women who stay in spousal relationships that are psychologically or even physically abusive because of the man’s chuckwagon power and the high financial cost of raising children in a technologically advanced society.

    Abuse is always about power and occurs under many guises. Attempting to build oneself up by putting others down is the common denominator to all abuse. Abuse is a pathological attempt to cope with feeling of powerlessness and is always counterproductive in the long term, but people don’t always thing long-term or logically. Since the circumstances under which abuse occurs vary, there is no single general principle for responding to abuse. Abuse in intimate relationships can be very subtle and often difficult to recognize it for what it is, which is only the first step in coping with it, not a solution. Solutions usually involve painful choices which is why there is so much denial. We have to pick our battles in life and when the benefits outweigh to cost of tolerating the abuse in the mind of the victim it is useless to point out the faults of the abuser since the “victim” , either consciously or subconsciously, is complicit.

    Your parents were couragous trailblazers. Courage, like grace, is usually very costly and necessary for social change to occur. I am just beginning to see an increase in multiracial couples appearing publically here in NC, about 50 years behind the cultural change in MD. Even more amazing, I see white grandparents shopping with their bi-racial grandchildren. I remember telling my son that I cared more about color than character in his choice of a mate, but that he should think about moving to Europe if he married a black woman and wanted to have children because America is a very racist country. I would not say that to anyone now. We still have a way to go, but we’ve come a long way, too. Blood is thicker than water, also thicker than race and/or gender orientation as the recent flip-flops among Republican politicians indicate.

    Ideological arguements don’t touch the heart. Having a beloved bi-racial or gay family member or friend makes it “personal” and worth the sacrifice necessary to make these issues “personal” for others, too. That is the difference between sacred activism and political activism. The two are related, but they are not the same. Political activism may change behavior, sometimes for the worse, but without sacred activism hearts will remain hard.

  • Carol

    Oops, I meant I care more about character than color.

    I wish we could preview our posts before sending them. My daughter uses my computer as therapy for most of the day and I often post in the wee morning hours when I’m not exactly at the top of my form.

  • Brian

    Amen to the cartoon!

    Carol wrote, “The problem is that *victims* have a tendency to pass on the pain and cruelty that they have experienced in the hope that will restory their power.”

    Ummm, speaking as a G in the LGBTQ alphabet, and one that left the church and faith because of how badly my community reacted to my coming out, I have often heard this thought expressed when I describe my outrage over what happened to me. There is a (malicious, IMHO) tendency among the Christians who persecute LGBTQ to perceive ANY pushback as “cruelty.” I would think that it would behoove anyone listening to the story of any abused person to very carefully consider the difference between angry words and justifiable rage from powerlessness and the inexcusable harms perpetrated by those in power. They are most certainly NOT the same thing.

  • Brian… I LOVE your sentence “I would think that it would behoove anyone listening to the story of any abused person to very carefully consider the difference between angry words and justifiable rage from powerlessness and the inexcusable harms perpetrated by those in power.” Well said!

  • Sharon

    If people say “don’t blame all Christians for what some Christians do” they are probably insecure. If it does not apply to me and how I treat people I can let the truth speak for itself.

  • Worthless Beast

    It reminds me of the ghosts in Pac-Man. *Grin.*