thanking God for bad sex

thanking god for bad sex cartoon by nakedpastor david hayward
*** SHOP ***

One of the members of The Lasting Supper linked to this post, “Christians Are Not Called To Have Amazing Sex”, wondering about its assumption that bad sex can be good. It started quite a discussion. Is it healthy to see bad sex as a cross to bear, something we need to endure and suffer, and that God might have consigned us to bad sex as a means to learn patience, etcetera? I think we too easily fall into the pattern of transferring the responsibility away from ourselves, thereby turning ourselves into unnecessary victims.

So one of our members,my good friend and writer Amy Mitchell and I decided we would collaborate on a post today. I would draw the cartoon and she would write a story. I show part of the story here. Click on “read more” to read the rest of it on her blog. The story is called “Suffering Servants”:

Terrie was exhausted. It had been a long day at work, and all she wanted was to put on her pajamas and curl up in bed with the covers over her head. She climbed the stairs slowly, already removing her confining business attire as she went.

Inside the bedroom, she finished undressing and donned a pair of soft, gray pants and an old t-shirt. With a groan, she flopped face-down on top of the covers. She was even too tired to turn back the sheets and comforter.

Meanwhile, Bill was busy finishing a report he needed to email before midnight. He hit send, then leaned back in his chair and stretched his arms over his head. He tilted his head to one side and then the other, working out the kinks. At last he stood up.

He’d heard Terrie heading to bed five or ten minutes before, after a quick kiss and a glass of water. He, too, was exhausted. He was glad it was almost the weekend. They could both use some rest. Not for the first time he considered updating his resume.

Bill followed Terrie up to their bedroom. He smiled at her prone form on the bed, her hair partially covering her face. He pulled off his clothes and grabbed a pair of sweats out of his dresser.

When Bill settled down beside Terrie, she turned her head toward him. She smiled, though she kept her eyes closed. “Thought you’d be up a while.”

“Nah. I had all evening to work on the report. I missed having time together, though.”

“Mmm.” She cracked one eyelid. “We could make up for it now.”

“You sure? I’m kinda tired, and you look whipped.”

“It’s okay. We’ve barely seen each other today.”

They didn’t bother with preamble; they just pulled off their own clothes and worked their way to the middle of the bed –> READ MORE <–


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  • Alice

    Why am I not surprised that was a Relevant article? It is quite a leap to jump all the way to “Some people are destined by God never to have great sex.” If couples were encouraged to talk honestly and in-depth about sex in premarital counseling, then they’d be more likely to know ahead of time not to get married (Although it is certainly difficult for virgins to know their sexual preferences). For couples who are already married, there are a lot of resources out there. Of course there are problems that cannot be avoided or fixed, and couples who are struggling sexually should not be stigmatized, but it’s also not good to automatically jump to the worst-case scenario.

  • klhayes

    My feelings exactly Alice…no discussion of counseling or talking about becoming sexually compatible…just suffer through it. I found it depressing.

  • Dennis Irwin

    Making up problems. It’s good for business.

  • wanderer

    Oh, yay, your bad sex cartoon!

    The article is horribly depressing. The message to unmarried people is “this could be your life someday; you’ll never know until you commit forever to someone and just give it a go. Whatever you do…. do NOT attempt it beforehand, so that you know what you’re getting yourself into. That would be the real tragedy.”

  • klhayes

    If anything, it encourages pre-marital sex!!!

  • Matthew Parker

    Maybe I’m crazy or maybe it’s because I’m single and a virgin, but I thought this story was sweet. I would love to have that type of relationship where A) even though they were tired, they made an effort towards physical intimacy and B) when it didn’t work out, there was no anger or blame, just laugh about it and move on.

  • disqus_35AwukS8d1

    I hope you do. 🙂 (Have to say, sometimes it’s a better idea to just cuddle to sleep, though. Haha. xD)