getting your kids up for church

kids up for church cartoon by nakedpastor david hayward


I don’t ever remember making our three children go to church.

They have different memories.

I wonder if teen Jesus complained. I don’t want to go! It’s too booooooring! The rabbi’s an asshole! Why do we keep reading those ancient manuscripts? I don’t believe all that crap! What’s the point? Won’t God love me whether I go or not? I’m sick! I have too much homework. I’m old enough to make my own decisions. Judas’ parents don’t make him go.

But whenever Mary and Joseph pulled the “your the son of God” line on him… well… that’s quite a reputation to live up to.

Eventually though he found the synagogue a convenient place to go to stir up shit.

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About David Hayward

David Hayward runs the blog nakedpastor as a graffiti artist on the walls of religion where he critiques religion… specifically Christianity and the church. He also runs the online community The Lasting Supper where people can help themselves discover, explore and live in spiritual freedom.

  • Fred P!

    It’s a good thing that the Bible is crystal clear that the “Jesus” you wonder about is found nowhere in the Scriptures.

  • angiecox

    Maybe that’s why the teen years are completely left out.

  • nakedpastor

    haha plausible theory!

  • Maggie York

    This dynamic seems to be part of growing up – almost universal. So should i worry about my niece who is 25, still lives at home, and has never been thru it? She seems very happy and well-adjusted. I just wonder sometimes about her not having “rebelled”…?

  • Sabio Lantz

    OK, we need posts by your kids. Each with a title: “My Dad’s Religious Shit”

    Where they tell their memories of you where they just shake their heads in unbelief.

    My son and I are having a father-son weekend (wife and daughter off to visit folks out of state) and between ZipLining, Indian & Brazilian Meals, Loud Movies and dirty dishes, he has done some pretty funny impressions of his ‘ole man. The characterizations our kids have us are revealing !!

    So, would your kids agree that you didn’t coerce their little minds into religion. I am sure each kid would tell a different story. So hope about some “My Dad….” posts!

  • Greg Flagg

    Probably would be a good idea for some churches to let some teenagers do the scripture reading from time to time and ask questions or see how they interpret it. We might also be surprised by their answers and understanding.

  • Jeff P

    She will probably rebel at around 30 and join The Lasting Supper. ;)

  • Jeff P

    “Jesus, the teen years” would make for a great sit-com on TV.

  • Steve

    Hard to imagine that Jesus would want to disobey His own 3rd Commandment.

    And if my reading of Luke 2:41-52 is correct, it seems Mary and Joseph had a hard time keeping Jesus out of His Father’s house.

  • Lothars Sohn

    Do you believe that a relatively young female pastor preaching while wearing a miniskirt could increase the motivation of a teenage boy to get up? :=)

    Lothars Sohn – Lothar’s son

  • wanderer

    are you saying the bits about jesus in the bible are not real?

  • Tim Wilson-Brown

    Well, he really showed them!

  • Jeannie Boen

    Some people rebel by conforming.

  • Fred P!

    No, what the Bible says about Jesus is real and authentic. What people’s perception of what is taught in the Bible may or may not be quite skewed.