Written during the December Lunar Eclipse
In An Orphan’s Tale: In the Cities of Coin and Spice by Catherynne Valente, there’s a tale of the last Star Being of the heavens walking through a vast dark abyss until she reaches countless tiny swirling Grass Stars. Even though she walks carefully through the rivulets and marches of pooled light she breaks many. Their silver light blood splashes her face and destroys her eyes. Now all she sees is light.
But in the light I could see a kind of shape, a shape which seemed to me something like the world, and a world which seemed something like me. There were things which wove, and I could not see them. but I could see their weaving, how tiny and diamond-strung, how intricate and perfect. And I wanted to weave that way, I wanted to weave bigger things and greater things, and as this wish formed in me like a spindle gathering flax, my arms opened up into eight, and silk pooled in my belly …
The Weaver-Star finally leaves heaven to create places and events in the world.
I read this passage while sipping my morning coffee with a splash of eggnog and relaxing in my favorite chair by the picture window. The rising sun painted the sky pink and its warmth melted the night frost into a glimmering fog. The world was filled with light. I can still feel the flow of energy moving through my body fresh and bright from my morning meditation where I visualize light from the Divine flowing to the world and then through me and into the earth. Then I cleanse my various energy bodies with this light. When I am done, the remainder is put into the harmony or safety of my home. Variations of meditations that include visualizing and working with energy or light are found in many religions and Pagan traditions.
As a panentheist, I believe that a Consciousness resides outside of space and time. Part of it is in a meditative state of existence. Part of it is dreaming the material universe or universes. It also experiences it’s creation by being in it. The Being, The Dreaming, The Experience. This can be visualized as never ending threads connecting all places, things, and events. It is one reason the Spider is a totem of mine. Stories and myths about gods and sky or cloud people coming to the earth remind me of Divinity experimenting with new limitations and surroundings.
During the Winter Solstice, a time for contemplation, I experience different trials on my Path. some years I’m holding a candle against the dark of humanity’s sorrow. Other years I’m like the Tarot card of the Hermit wondering on a winding path in the dark feeling lost and alone with no destination wondering where the Yuletide Joy is. In the worst times I’m searching in the dark to find a spark of who I am so I can reignite my will to keep living. This year I feel a fuller connection with my Divine self and I am the light. It is the light of Divinity being, dreaming and experiencing all there is with my five senses to fully embrace my place in the Weaving. We all continuously spin through the emotions of sadness, ambivalence or joy. Changes in the world are as constant as the changes in how we perceive it. The difference for me this year is that my health and spiritual practices are becoming aligned. I continuously return to my Center and breath. I’m more conscious of what I’m eating and how I communicate with my heathcare team.
Where ever you are on your Path during the Winter Solstice, take time to contemplate your needs and desires. When you feel overwhelmed, find your Center and observe.