So, my wife was gone for the weekend again the boys and I made it through w/out a scratch. In a rare confluence of events, I’ve been on my own two weekends in as many months and I feel like I’m learning some helpful strategies for dads who get the kids to themselves for awhile. I’m guessing there are moms and dads out there who know a heck of a lot more about this than I do. There’s sure to be nothing on this list moms haven’t already been practicing for years. Nevertheless, here’s what I’ve learned recently – I’m hoping to hear what you guys are learning as well, so please chime in.
Be Emotionally Present: Maybe the most important lesson I learned was to make my entire goal about emotional presence. From the moment Kristin left town I resolved to remain emotionally present to the boys. It was really good for me & for my relationship with them.
Work Ahead: I had to get my work done, sermon finished & ready to go for Sunday, before Thursday when Kristin flew out. I couldn’t have had something huge like that hanging over my head and still expect to remain in the moment w/the boys.
Make anything & everything into a quest: If they are trying to accomplish some sort of joint task with you, they won’t turn on each other or worse, turn on you. Our quests lately have been finding Star Wars: Attack of the Clones so we could watch it together, and a six mile run/bike (I ran, they biked). It seems silly but this stuff puts us on a team together. One quest was trying to finish a large pizza together while watching the NBA playoffs at Pizza Shoppe – we had so much fun.
Consolidate the sleeping arrangements: I had both boys sleep in one room. This gave me leverage – as in, “If I have to come up here again you will have to go back to your own bedroom.
Start a new book together: The first few chapters of a book are magical. They begged for more every single night.
Go to bed early: If you want quality time w/out the kids, it will have to be before they wake up. If you want to do this & not be tired & cranky, you have to go to bed early. This one kills me every time – I hate the morning. But the couple of time I actually did it, I started the day w/more patience.
Swim: The neighborhood swimming pool was an incredible invention. It’s physical, rough, and it keeps you in the moment because you can’t get distracted.
Sing in the kitchen: silly songs, get them laughing & they’ll eat more quickly. Anything Elvis will work.
Water Balloons & cap guns: Hours of fun.
Last thing is more personal. I leave Kristin alone w/the boys all the time & take for granted that she’ll have the energy to pull it off w/out a hitch. Having to do this a couple of times in a row reminded me just how hard it is for parents – moms or dads – who are primarily responsible for caring for the kids during the summertime w/all those hours to fill, or when spouses are on the road or consumed w/work. I’m really in awe of you guys & gals. I think that you are doing something important when you build into your kids – however that happens. I have great admiration for moms and dads out there and feel a sense of wonder at how well you all get it done.
Okay – watcha got? What are your strategies?
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