Monday Morning Confessional

I confess that I sometimes cuss during football games and basketball games, but only if I really care who wins. I confess that I never feel the need to cuss during baseball games – and it’s not for lack of caring; yet more evidence that baseball is the morally superior sport. I further confess that I cuss in the car, but only if I’m in a hurry, and only if I’m not praying at the time. Car praying is a pretty big deal for me, and not just in order to keep myself from cussing.

While I’m on the subject of cussing, I confess that I had a good joke in the sermon yesterday and it really didn’t land. I hear a couple of good laughs, I’m pretty sure they are the only ones who got it. I was talking about Adam & Eve and how judgment extended to their relationships with themselves, each other, the creation, as well as their relationship to God (and we usually only focus on the latter). Anyway I made the joke “that’s where the phrase damn the man power to the people) comes from. Get it? Damn the man? Adam was damned by God? Yeah, it sailed wide to the left during the sermon, too… a good reminder that a pun is almost always a bad idea.

I confess that I believe, should the Chiefs go 16-0 during the season (and I do not think they will), everyone will cry for an asterisk because they have the easiest schedule in all of football. However, I just want to remind everyone that the ‘72 Dolphins went 16-0 with an incredibly easy schedule. There was no other team in their division with a winning record that year, and the Dolphins didn’t play a single division winner in the regular season. In the playoffs they: 1) beat Cleveland (a 2nd place team), in Miami, 2) went on the road to beat Pittsburg – a really good win, and 3) beat the Redskins in the championship, also a really good win. All in all, they had one of the easiest schedules that season. I’m not saying the Chiefs will go undefeated. I’m just saying that if they do… no asterisk necessary.

My Enneagram daily email today read as follows: “As Threes continually postpone dealing with their real feelings, they begin to have trouble accessing them. They become distanced from their own feelings and needs and no longer know who they are.” I confess that I think I needed to hear this today. I confess that I often tell myself, “I don’t have time to feel that emotion right now,” or else I’ll try to avoid certain subjects in order to elude the emotions that are inevitably attached. I’m not sure if that is good or bad, but I think it’s healthy to know that I’m doing it. Postponing emotions is big for me. My guess is that I do end up distancing myself from the source, then having trouble accessing them (or at least assessing them). I know that for me, a healthy pattern involves naming my emotions, feeling them deeply, then letting them go and moving on.

Speaking of postponing emotions, I confess that I got notes back from my editor at Zondervan on the manuscript I turned in a couple of months back. I have not yet opened the files because I’ve been postponing the ensuing emotional $#!/-storm that will ensue. I confess that I also cuss while postponing emotions. It’s an incredibly vulnerable thing to read someone’s critique of your writing, even when you know that they are on your side and are only trying to help you make it better.

I confess that my wife had a significant cancer scare this past year. To add insult to serious injury, we were recently dropped by our health insurance company. She’s been working like crazy trying to find coverage… (try getting health insurance with melanoma on your record). I don’t even know how many times we been denied, appealed, and denied again. After months of trying, it has become clear that the local exchange is really our only hope of keeping our family on the same insurance plan together. I’m really grateful for the Affordable Care Act, and I know that we’d be paying out the wazoo if we didn’t have that option. That being said, could we please make the website work? Seriously, this has to go down as one of the all-time worst in terms of high-profile screw ups.

Okay friends, I made my confession. Now it’s time for you to make yours.

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  • jmberman

    I confess that I am not as patient with my wife as I should be.
    I confess that I hold grudges for longer than I should.
    I confess that I indulge my adolescent nature entirely too much.
    I confess that I am fearful for the future, even though I know God will make every provision for me, and always has.
    I confess that I am not as appreciative of my pregnant, very pregnant wife as I should be.
    I confess that I let my anger get the better of me, especially in traffic.
    I confess that I have cussed in the car, while driving, with my 12 month old baby in her car set in back, maybe because I don’t think, or I hope she will not hear or retain the word I just said.
    I confess that I rarely read my bible, and that when i do, I am really not as involved as I should be.
    I confess that although i have to speak at Church on November 10th, I still haven’t put pen to paper with my ideas, although I have a rough mental framework no work as of yet.
    I confess that I do not feel as joyous as I did when I was single, although now, with a wife, daughter, and son on the way I have far more to feel joyous over.
    I confess that I feel the weight of being a father, and at times am crushed by it, maybe because I did not have a father, and pray that I am up to the challenge. Up to the challenge of raising a beautiful, loving, Christ Centered daughter, and wonderful, loving, Christ centered son.
    I confess that Spell Check has killed my ability to effectively spell correctly, and because of this, there are probably many errors in this document..
    That’s about it..
    Oh, and I confess that I hope someone who reads this, may get something out of it, and that it at least lets them know that no matter how messed up they may feel, someone out there feels similarly.