Monday Morning Confessional

I confess that one of the more annoying pre-holiday issues in 2011 was that our refrigerator died. Almost everything in it was ruined and we had to drop a thousand dollars on the unplanned purchase of a new fridge. I confess that this is why I’m doubly annoyed by the fact that our washing machine died last week & we had to buy a new one. I confess that although I’m incredibly thankful to have been married for 15 years this apparently means all of our stuff will breaking down, (which could be a metaphor for the human condition). Nevertheless, the fact that our appliances will be succumbing to planned obsolescence gives me a rash. (Also, washers & dryers have become exceedingly more complex over the past 15 years – I confess that I am intimidated by our new set).

I confess that I’m annoyed by the fact that you spell “refrigerator” without out a “d,” and yet there is a “d” in “fridge,” which is short for refrigerator. How can the short version of a word contain an extraneous letter? I confess that spell check does not seem ambiguous on the matter.

I confess that I could watch the BLR – “Bad Lip Reading” videos of politicians all day long. I confess that I actually have to set limits on the number of these I let myself watch in one sitting… seriously… no self-control.

I confess that I often have to set limits on my participation in meaningless diversions of all kinds, typically online ones. Although I will confess that we have a Foosball table in our church & I will  play Scott just for the diversion, even thought I’ve never scored more that 3 points against him in a single game. I confess that my favorite diversions are reading an endless supply of online news, Facebook & Twitter, & blogs. I confess that I am convinced this happens because sometimes body/mind/spirit feels empowered to force me into taking what I like to call “involuntary days off.” I confess that my involuntary days off are always followed by guilt and depression when I actually look at the list of things I have to do.

I confess that I finished My Name is Asher Lev last night while sitting on the bleachers at my son’s basketball practice with 5 or 6 moms (the only male doing so). I confess that over the last 50 pages of the book I cried no less than 5 times. That I cried while reading a book is nothing to be embarrassed about. That I cried while sitting in the bleachers surrounded by soccer moms who kept looking like they wanted to ask me if I was “okay,” was a real problem. I seriously thought I was about to get invited to be a part of their next book club, or handed a tissue… or maybe the book is just… that… good…

I confess that I am entertained by the fact that republicans may just nominate a former congressman who resigned in disgrace because of serious ethics violations which were completely unrelated to the fact that he had just led the impeachment of a president for lying about adultery while… wait for it… carrying on his own adulterous affair. I confess that I believe the whole reason they are doing this is tied to Mitt Romney’s Mormon faith. I confess that I think the only thing the republicans could do to really fire up the democrats, would be to run Newt Gingrich… (I think the dems will have a cow, which would be equally entertaining to me). I wonder if it wouldn’t be smart for both of the major parties to go back to brokered conventions & guys in back rooms smoking cigars choosing the candidates.

Okay, I made my confession. Now you make yours!